[Ultimate_Truth]

Here's one for you.

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an
hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him,
grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying. "Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck
driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs.
"I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting,
so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car
was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the
cab left, I discovered my wallet was still in the cab. At home I found
my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar trying to work
up the courage to put an end to my life."

"And then you show up and drink the darn poison."