Great first post...be sure to head over to the INTRODUCTIONS forum, and tell us something about yourself, so that we can offer you a proper welcome!
I think a lot of what you are experiences may come from 2 areas.
1) Lack of self confidence---i.e. mental
2) Lack of time practicing---i.e. physical
Both of those can be worked on , and improved, to get you to a point where you can do more than just "take the punches" but be free flowing in assessing your kumite opponent, and execute moves that will be effective
vapor
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