Quote:
Originally Posted by supergroup7
I agree with so much that has been said here, but I have to question DKKC's idea that
"I'm not saying give them a black belt or never ever fail them, but if they give up disappointed or dishartened it means you - as instructors - have failed."
I'm having difficulties understanding this concept DKKC, although I am viewing it from an inexperienced, and more "motherly" perspective. There have been more than one time in my years as a mother when my children didn't listen, understand, or take to heart the words, and example that I provided for them. My children chose a different path than the one that I offered, and I felt responsible at first for their problems, and sorrows. However, I realized that I cannot feel that I have failed them as a mother. I did the best that I could with what I had at the time, and it was up to them to put in as much effort, also. Does not the role of instructor mirror this also?
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Hi SP7
I would say that the relationship is slightly different the parental one. Students and instructors disagree many times - but they don't always end their relationship. the trouble is that it is very easy for a 10 yrs old to decide to stop going training just because hewasn't allowed to grade. Say you make pact with your kids that if they get straight A in school you'll buy them the toy of their dreams for their birthday. They get C and B some A in school and when their birthday arrives they don't get what they wanted. So they decide to never ever talk to you again and leave home. That's giving up karate for not grading fast enough, in my perspective. And if a kid runs away from home because he didn't receive the toy he wanted for his birthday then tehre is something very wrongwith the relationship he has with his parents and with the parenting style in itself. As I doubt a kid would get this spoilt overnight.
Disagreements between parents and children, teachers and students, instructors and trainees exist - the important thing is geting through these sticky situations together and the younger the child/student/trainee, the more the responsibility to guide, teach and help understand and deal with the situation falls onto the parent/teacher/inscructor's shoulders.
Hope this makes sense!