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Everybody knows the saying about that first step... this blog is to document the travel.
I practice kyokushin again after 20 years; I was once 3rd kyu & opted to start at white belt.
The first milestone is to re-earn my rank, then, of course to attain shodan. Let's see where this will take us in the end.
Expect much frustration hand in hand with a study in humility as the inner battles have but a clear outcome...
I entered the dojo in June of 2009 on crutches; we are now in November and I have mostly regained use of my legs: time to get cracking!
I practice kyokushin again after 20 years; I was once 3rd kyu & opted to start at white belt.
The first milestone is to re-earn my rank, then, of course to attain shodan. Let's see where this will take us in the end.
Expect much frustration hand in hand with a study in humility as the inner battles have but a clear outcome...
I entered the dojo in June of 2009 on crutches; we are now in November and I have mostly regained use of my legs: time to get cracking!
Kohai In Search Of His Sempai
I discovered that my dojo did not offer the high standards I was seeking. This post regroups the various difficulties and frustrations I encountered & retraces the process that led me to seek a sempai for a kohai/sempai relationship.
posted originally in the "our kyokushin zen" thread of the forum
What, when the dojo kun is just a sign on the wall, its words devoid of meaning in the minds, actions and example of the leaders, and the ranks too?
I am confused!
Should they be called on it, in respect of the code of honor & the fulfillment of the true meaning of the Kyokushin Way?
Would that breach the observance of the rules of courtesy, or be disrespectful to our superiors?
Wouldn't keeping silent be the sign of a shaken spirit?
Defining the problem:
Sources can be found in these two blog posts: Pre Grading BS & A Visit To Shanghai Head Quarters.
I am not concerned about respect of tradition here:
- I am concerned about the good name of kyokushin being trampled upon.
- I am concerned about China, once again chosing the easy way.
- I am concerned about what spirit is being taught here and now.
- I am concerned about the value of a shodan (mine to be!) "earned" within an organization that does not respect itself.
- I am selfishly concerned about not having much of a choice here and now and compromising my own spirit to the need of being accepted so I can train.
- Certainly this is a test of sorts with the value of a lesson in it.
- I am denied the comfort of just showing up to class and letting the process unfold.
- Put in a position to define precisely what I want and expect.
- I am concerned about missing the true essence of this lesson.
Borrowing words from Godai that resonate with me: "In everything I've ever done, my kyokushin spirit has shone through!" - I am not going to compromise this at this point!
- I am at the "in between" place where choices are made to move towards or away from "it".
Keeping an eye on the prize:
My take is whether or not calling higher ranks & leaders on not promoting hard training and spirit growth therefore betraying the dojo kun.
An alternate choice of dojo would solve the problem as I would simply walk away - I do not really have this option; that makes it a unique, narrow and special difficulty.
Clarity is key: I know what I want!
Venting and exchanging on K4L forums has already allowed me to understand where I was at, and detach myself from the emotional personal implication, which I have always found especially hard to do for matters close to my heart. I believe I know now what I want with more clarity than before: An unforgettable experience, the support and presence of people I respect are high on the list.
It will soon come down to defining the path by which I will get there. This path will require some measure of flexibility and sucking some things up for some time.
It may imply a leap of faith and trust to provoke, create and forge a solid and lasting sempai/kohai relationship
, as defined in this article. (posted by Ksan in this thread)
I do not have the fortitude of character, the technical ability and the necessary reference points to train 100% on my own as jgpt1 alluded to - I also feel that extraordinary talent, that I do not possess, is required - I can nonetheless sustain working on my own, to a point - this would certainly reinforce the above qualities, but cannot replace talent.
I will not forever be a “ronin” & disloyalty is not my creed. I have received valuable advice from extraordinary persons via this forum, and will talk and listen to more. I wish to continue to communicate on these matters and think it best to do so via PMs, or comments on the blog.
In my quest, I realize that I have discharged negative feelings and emotion here on K4L and I feel compelled to humbly beg everyone this might have somewhat upset or unsettled to accept my sincere apology. I did not wish to disrupt your serenity, but I fear my confusion may have.
I humbly thank you for listening.
Osu!
PS: Thank you all for the helpful suggestions in the forum and via PM; please keep it coming.
[addendum: The Dojo Kun]
posted originally in the "our kyokushin zen" thread of the forum
What, when the dojo kun is just a sign on the wall, its words devoid of meaning in the minds, actions and example of the leaders, and the ranks too?
I am confused!
Should they be called on it, in respect of the code of honor & the fulfillment of the true meaning of the Kyokushin Way?
Would that breach the observance of the rules of courtesy, or be disrespectful to our superiors?
Wouldn't keeping silent be the sign of a shaken spirit?
Defining the problem:
Sources can be found in these two blog posts: Pre Grading BS & A Visit To Shanghai Head Quarters.
I am not concerned about respect of tradition here:
- I am concerned about the good name of kyokushin being trampled upon.
- I am concerned about China, once again chosing the easy way.
- I am concerned about what spirit is being taught here and now.
- I am concerned about the value of a shodan (mine to be!) "earned" within an organization that does not respect itself.
- I am selfishly concerned about not having much of a choice here and now and compromising my own spirit to the need of being accepted so I can train.
- Certainly this is a test of sorts with the value of a lesson in it.
- I am denied the comfort of just showing up to class and letting the process unfold.
- Put in a position to define precisely what I want and expect.
- I am concerned about missing the true essence of this lesson.
Borrowing words from Godai that resonate with me: "In everything I've ever done, my kyokushin spirit has shone through!" - I am not going to compromise this at this point!
- I am at the "in between" place where choices are made to move towards or away from "it".
Keeping an eye on the prize:
My take is whether or not calling higher ranks & leaders on not promoting hard training and spirit growth therefore betraying the dojo kun.
An alternate choice of dojo would solve the problem as I would simply walk away - I do not really have this option; that makes it a unique, narrow and special difficulty.
Clarity is key: I know what I want!
Venting and exchanging on K4L forums has already allowed me to understand where I was at, and detach myself from the emotional personal implication, which I have always found especially hard to do for matters close to my heart. I believe I know now what I want with more clarity than before: An unforgettable experience, the support and presence of people I respect are high on the list.
It will soon come down to defining the path by which I will get there. This path will require some measure of flexibility and sucking some things up for some time.
It may imply a leap of faith and trust to provoke, create and forge a solid and lasting sempai/kohai relationship
, as defined in this article. (posted by Ksan in this thread)Quote:
Should you wish to further discuss this matter, offer advice, or suggest someone for sempai role in the kohai/sempai relationship I am seeking, I can be reached at FredInChina.
I will not forever be a “ronin” & disloyalty is not my creed. I have received valuable advice from extraordinary persons via this forum, and will talk and listen to more. I wish to continue to communicate on these matters and think it best to do so via PMs, or comments on the blog.
In my quest, I realize that I have discharged negative feelings and emotion here on K4L and I feel compelled to humbly beg everyone this might have somewhat upset or unsettled to accept my sincere apology. I did not wish to disrupt your serenity, but I fear my confusion may have.
I humbly thank you for listening.Osu!
PS: Thank you all for the helpful suggestions in the forum and via PM; please keep it coming.
[addendum: The Dojo Kun]
Quote:
- We will train our hearts and bodies for a firm, unshaken spirit.
- We will pursue the true meaning of the Martial Way, so that in time our senses may be alert.
- With true vigor, we will seek to cultivate a spirit of self-denial.
- We will observe the rules of courtesy, respect our superiors, and refrain from violence.
- We will follow our religious principles, and never forget the true virtue of humility.
- We will look upwards to wisdom and strength, not seeking other desires.
- All our lives, through the discipline of karate, we will seek to fulfill the true meaning of the Kyokushin Way.
- We will pursue the true meaning of the Martial Way, so that in time our senses may be alert.
- With true vigor, we will seek to cultivate a spirit of self-denial.
- We will observe the rules of courtesy, respect our superiors, and refrain from violence.
- We will follow our religious principles, and never forget the true virtue of humility.
- We will look upwards to wisdom and strength, not seeking other desires.
- All our lives, through the discipline of karate, we will seek to fulfill the true meaning of the Kyokushin Way.
Total Comments 12
Comments
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Fred, I wish you luck in finding your path. If there were something I could do to help I'd gladly do it...
Osu! |
Posted 12-11-2009 at 08:02 PM by sandman
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Thank you Sandman, Apparently, I was not expressing myself clearly and precisely enough; Dent is pushing me to define and refine the outline of what I am presisely looking for...
It is the process of a work in progress & I appreciate your offer - maybe you can help by giving me a feedback of what you understand, so I can adjust to the perception of it. Here are the updates I posted earlier: Originally Posted by Dent  Osu! Hum. Ok, still from my point of view. (And this may be tough to accept, and I may be totally wrong. For your sake, I hope so.) I think you're looking for something that may not exist in China (Or in many other places). My own, very limited, experience there was that there is a different approach to the training, and that approach is dictated by the culture. There was a very real sense of "Can you eat it?" In other words, unless it makes you money, it's just a social thing. And as far as the Sempai search goes, you're probably too old to find one at your Dojo. Sounds harsh, but your position, experience (Martial and otherwise), age, national origin etc are all going to count against you in this regard. The Sempai - Kohai relationship is based so much on a cultural knowledge that we don't share, that you may have a senior mentor, but not necessarily a S - K relationship. I know I am an awkward one to deal with for some. I've been training longer than some of my rank-seniors have been alive. In the Dojo, I follow their direction, but our relationship can never really be the same as the movie/ ideal of young student and old master. Ours is more: Old decrepit student, young master. I had to change my ideas as I got older. I don't look for that mystical teacher like I did as a kid. All teachers are human, with human weaknesses, and that's part of what makes the good ones great. My post isn't intended to disillusion in a negative way, but simply to suggest that you critically examine what it is you want from your Kyokushin experience, and then tailor your training to that end as much as is reasonably possible. Osu! Osu Dent, Thank you for your comments. Not at all difficult to accept & quite right on most counts. Other points where you may be a tad off are definitely my fault for poorly expressing my thoughts. Please, Let me try again: I am definitely too old to find a "sempai" in my dojo; and for other reasons too. My quest was directed towards K4L members of the forum. I am not big into MA movies and the ideal decorum of old master/young student - your re-centering towards calling it a mentor or senior mentor relationship is quite appropriate. I may have 2, or 5, or 10, or 15 if I am very lucky good years of physical ability in front of me & I intend to make the best of whatever is in store for me. One of my goals is to attain shodan or more... but I will have to take it one day at a time... However, I do not want a "discounted" journey; I want "the real thing" - I want to be able to say and know that I earned my kyokushin (or Enshin, Ashihara, Kudo, or whatever style it will be in the end.) black belt; I want to earn it amongst people I respect and have earned the respect of - I want the unforgettable experience that I read from shared experiences on the forum; I want the trials and the pain and the discomfort and the challenge and the push beyond my own boundaries and limitations. I want to test myself and be tested and rise to the occasion. I want to be able to train with and learn from and teach to my 3 sons that are karate students in France. I need guidance and support; if only to help me understand what I am now in a position to expect (due to my old decrepit age... and the unbearable lag between my body and my mind). Left alone, I see myself competing with strength and agility when I am possibly only trying to catch up... I need someone that will tell me the truth, without malice and without fear. I want the tight code and spirit that kyokushin has imprinted into my soul & I want to hang around people that share these values. I want that for my sons too. I want to teach and share and bring a new generation to age and maturity. I want to be an example for my peers to follow. I am not the least disillusioned, even if my faith in my fellow humans have somewhat taken more color shades with time. And when my time will come, I want to welcome it, content, not having to beg for a few hours extra to do these things I'd postponed! This is what I want; this is who I am... Sorry for talking so much about me. Osu! |
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Posted 12-11-2009 at 10:32 PM by FredInChina
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Osu! Fred, I just noticed the update following my comment. So it looks like you'd like some feedback - to see if you've expressed yourself clearly...
So my new understanding, in a really small nutshell, is that you are more or less searching K4L for a mentor. I am not exactly clear however, on how you intend to move forward, even with a mentor. Are you planning on continuing your training at your existing dojo (and in your stairwell )? What sort of guidance are you seeking from a mentor? Osu! |
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Posted 12-14-2009 at 01:50 AM by sandman
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Thank you for your feedback Sandman.
As Dent pointed out in the What is a Black Belt thread, choosing your peers wisely is very important... The point I am at at present, but may still evolve, is: 1- Continue training at my own dojo. 2- Continue training on my own. 3- Find a "mentor" on K4L that will help and guide me and introduce me to his own organization. 4- Join that organization and make the time to two or three times a year train with them at my mentor's dojo, and/or participate in the training camps. 5- Grade concurrently with my present org and my newly chosen peers. Another way would be to incite an organization to open dojos in China and, with them, create the proper environment I am seeking. Following PowerOf0ne road, Dent also set a goal of visiting 10 K4L dojos in 2010 --- this is an idea I've been playing with & I am grateful Dent confirms I am not completely "out there"... |
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Posted 12-14-2009 at 05:46 AM by FredInChina
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Fred, have you ever read "Iron and Silk"? It's about an expat in China who seeks out a Kung Fu master, finds him and is transformed. Maybe the difficulty you are facing in finding "real" Kyokushin, or in the absence of that a sempai, is because you are looking in the wrong place for the wrong thing. What I'm saying is, I'm pretty sure I'd find authentic Kung Fu before authentic karate in China.
In any case, I think your thirst and dissatisfaction are good things. They will propel you forward. Then there are the good folk at K4L who'll kick you from behind if you slacken (in a good way). Chin up! |
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Posted 12-14-2009 at 06:39 PM by meguro
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No, I've never read "Iron and Silk", thank you for pointing it out to me meguro.
So many things are fake or at the very least not what they appear to be in China --- Many a person with pure intentions and passion has fallen in the trap of a quick return, corrupting their souls in the process. Even in a "traditional" society (brackets because the traditions have mostly been driven to extinction in the last 60 years), where values were once firmly established, most are now measuring themselves and their success on a dollar scale, ignoring that at the whim of a computer printing press, there will always be someone better "capitalized" until it is too late and they realize that they've chased but an illusion. ...Which does not matter all that much, because in the great scheme of things, we are all doing just that. Thank you for your encouragements, kind words, and promise of butt kicking; as I wrote elsewhere, drive is born from dissatisfaction & you were not mistaken in your comment. There are no doubts in my mind as to the outcome; I will find my way --- the key now if to be able to focus on the process, the journey and not so much the destination... that has always been a hard thing for me to do. Osu! |
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Posted 12-15-2009 at 06:02 PM by FredInChina
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I realize NingBo is not Fujian, but I wonder if you could find an authentic White Crane Kung Fu master. This style from southern Fujian is said to be the source/major influences of Okinawan Goju and by extension Kyokushin.
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Posted 12-17-2009 at 02:48 PM by meguro
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Fred, after reading through this blog and hearing your angst in the typed word, I cant help but see things from this perspective. Point: while your technique and physical abilities may require a Sempai/Sensei, your intellect, worldly knowledge and endearing presence is that of a "MASTER". Earned only buy your every breath in this life! Your Sempai has written instructions on the wall. He is my Sempai as well and I trust his word.
Look to the younger students for your insight, I am sure, there you will find confusion, misinterpreted expectations and puffy clouds supporting fragile egos. Your presense, smile, reassurance and foundation will be what they build on and yours will continue to broaden. Do not look to your Sensei/Shihan/Sempai for wisdom, motivation or a magical connection, only for the next directive. That will arrest any pretenses and allow you to progress unabated in your journey. Sosai has already given you a magical directive and you have commited to it. You are an intellectual Master for so many. Dont sell your self short with a trivial pusuit, when what you are seeking you already have found everytime you read it!! Osu! |
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Posted 12-17-2009 at 07:32 PM by jcarmello
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Thank you jcarmello; please forgive the time I took to reply, at first I didn't quite know what to make of your comment, I am still not so sure, but at least I can reply...
First, the humility part... I am far from an intellectual or worldly master, I was lucky to have in depth exposure exposed to several cultures foreign to my original one; this gave me the ability to view things from several angles, sometimes simultaneously - it usually does not make things easier or simpler to understand, but it gives a more colors to the picture and perception on things. These colors are what I like to share, often with a touch of irony.  Then, the path ahead... Sharing with younger students is definitely something I will emphasis, thank you for drawing my attention to it; it will be "give and you shall receive" of sorts... Thank you also for calling me on "selling myself short"; pour a little bit of whining sauce on it & I realize that to some extent and viewed from some angles, venting my frustration here might have been a little bit of that; although not only: The effort of writing things up and the feedback I received from K4L members greatly helped clarify my thoughts, solidify my resolve and gain certainty on the outcome or maybe only certainty that the goals I pursue are truly mine, but it does not really matter which.  The blanks to be filled are what can be described as "the path ahead"; this is not cast in stone and never will be; it will be a pursuit of excellence via means that I can only imagine for some and that will surprise me along the way for others... Its enjoyment will come from inside, from how I am prepared and ready to accept events, progress and setbacks; inputs from the environment will act to reveal the inner state of my mind and spirit; and allow for course adjustment or "where am I at?" positionment. When all is said and done, isn't it what life is all about? |
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Posted 12-27-2009 at 05:33 PM by FredInChina
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Osu Fred,
From what i read there is only one dojo near your current locatation where you can train kyokushin. If this is not the case you should go to the dojo you think is best for you near you. I once read or heard somewhere that it is more important to be the worst student in the best dojo then the best student in a not so good dojo. After that you should remember that a dojo is only as good as its instructor and its students combined (including you) If you better your karate through training, the dojo you train in hence gets better aswell. After that, when you get better your fellow students might also grow and learn from you and your quest to become better. Then the dojo grows again. This can force the instructor to beter himself, because he has to teach more advanced stuff to his students. Hence you and your dojo grow again. The same goes for the S/K relationship you desire. Like Dent put it, sometimes that isnt possible due to other factors relating to the situation you are in (your a long time student) The current sensei of your dojo might recognise that (or totally miss it) and not be able to give you wat you need. If you cannot train what you want to train, then teach, if you cannot teach then watch... |
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Posted 01-01-2010 at 12:31 PM by ksan
Updated 01-01-2010 at 12:46 PM by ksan |
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Quote:
it is more important to be the worst student in the best dojo then the best student in a not so good dojo
!Thank you for spending the time to offer your advice and point of view, I do appreciate. Yes, this is, for the time being, the only dojo in town and this is precisely what makes my problem hard to tackle with conventional means. Which takes me to "unconventional" --- more on that on my blog later, several ideas are maturing. I fully agree with your suggestion of being proactive in my training for the benefit of all. Robert Kiyosaki (the author of 'Rich dad, Poor Dad") once told me: "Fred, if you really want to learn something, teach it!". It has some truth into it. Osu! |
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Posted 01-08-2010 at 08:25 PM by FredInChina
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Osu!
I am in Shanghai and looking for a Kyokushin dojo. I appreciate if you could point me to the right contact. Thank you Ruben |
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Posted 06-14-2012 at 02:59 AM by Ruben_10
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