I find that this time it's more mental than physical

As I prepare, and train, and work towards improvement, I find that my efforts are more directed towards mental training than physical.

I am finding myself asking for more perseverance, more patience, more spirit, and more humility in my current training.

Now that I have the placement of being a higher belt in my dojo, I find that I must fight the inner pressure to be prideful. I realize that the Ultimate truth needs to reign in my mind, and the truth is that I'm not as good nor as bad as I perceive myself to be. I am only as good as the last time that I trained. It isn't the color of my belt, nor the priviledges of my rank that defines me, it is how I apply myself to the challenges placed before me. From the past experiences of watching some other high belts and how they treat the lower belts with disdain, and superiority, I have realized that I do not wish to fall into that trap. I hunger to be respected for the fact that I inspire respect within other's hearts more than from the fact that I demand respect due to me.

I have embraced the fact that this quiet kind of existance will not give me a harvest of recognition. I may be dismissed by others just because I do not display my colors. However, I know that my Art, and accumulated karate skills are not there to build up my Ego, but to bring me into a stronger, and more balanced character. In essence, I am a white belt that is open and eager to learn that has accumulated the ability, and strength to learn more than I thought that I was capable.

My inner question now, and the struggle that occurs in my mind and heart, is how to I manage to control my inner reactions of disgust in the future when I see higher ranked individuals mis-treating the lower ranked students?