What Women Want

[Brad]

Originally Posted by seienchin

A delightfully honest admission Brad....is there anything that the women could do that would make it easier for you?

thats a really good question and it's going to take me a while to think up a knowledgeable unswer may be some of the other male gender can help me here i know sublimo might help help help im cornered.

[Dent]

Osu! Bloke,

Good to know I've warped another innocent mind.

Aside from those very few folk who seem to have no sense of humour at all, most Dojo types are a little twisted. Must be the nature of people who are willing to get bashed a couple of times a week for fifty years, on the off chance in that so doing, they may do a better job of bashing someone else.

Oh, wait, I'm one of them, aren't I?



Osu!

[Dent]

Osu!

Backish to topic, IMO, women would do well to be very clear about what they expect, both in the Dojo and out of it. No man I've ever met is a mind-reader, and yet a number of women seem to be confused about this...

Ladies, just because we are fundamentally transparent doesn't mean you are. You are deep, complex treasures, and there's no way we can ever gain more than a glimpse of your unfathomable and esoteric selves.

This does not mean that speaking in circles is of any help to us whatsoever. If you want something, please be direct. From flowers to front kicks, it helps if you use small words. Don't worry about speaking too loudly either, we may not be listening otherwise.

Osu!

[Bloke]

Dent

Im not sure my mind was that innocent to start with.

[Lucy]

Originally Posted by Dent

Osu!

Backish to topic, IMO, women would do well to be very clear about what they expect, both in the Dojo and out of it. No man I've ever met is a mind-reader, and yet a number of women seem to be confused about this...

Ladies, just because we are fundamentally transparent doesn't mean you are. You are deep, complex treasures, and there's no way we can ever gain more than a glimpse of your unfathomable and esoteric selves.

This does not mean that speaking in circles is of any help to us whatsoever. If you want something, please be direct. From flowers to front kicks, it helps if you use small words. Don't worry about speaking too loudly either, we may not be listening otherwise.

Osu!

Dent is obviously treading the ground carefully with this statement nice answer

[vapor]

Dent is being very diplomatic, that is what I can say!!

vapor

[FBV]

Osu! FBV,

Please watch your language in this Forum. Remember that this is our Dojo.

Osu!

[JAzze]

Osu! I'm very happy to have found this forum, because this exact question has been on my mind as a guy in a dojo with a 35-40% female population.

I weigh about 160 lbs. (73Kg, 11.5 stone) in a soaking wet dogi, and I have developed a reputation for good control, so I'm often paired with women for kumite. (I should note that by control, I don't necessarily mean going easy )

Women in our dojo only seem to wear chest protectors during competition, so Sensei warns the men to avoid contact to the chest during a typical kumite class. (He tells the women that if we hit their chests, they should kick our groins, which usually elicits lots of snickering from both sexes.) As Brad pointed out, this can limit the size of the available target area .

Just like with any partner in the dojo, I've had to learn where to set the intensity level on a case-by-case basis based on feedback from my partner. For example, the police officer wants a hard fight. I find that experienced fighters will hit me as hard as they want to be hit.

I'd be interested to hear the women's comments on the intensity level they expect when paired with men during impact training with pads (focus mitts, Thai pads, shields, etc.) I often hear Sensei say, "Don't worry, she can take it" when he finds a guy going easy on an experienced woman during this kind of training.

Also, when women fight each other, do you have the same expectations as you do with men? In my experience I've seen women injure each other more often than I've seen men injure women.

Osu!
Jason

[supergroup7]

Gee.. this issue has been an ongoing learning experience for me..

I really have to say that for me it's an individual interaction, moment by moment thing.. even with how I can take a hit. On certain days of a month, I tend to feel the strikes more when they head towards my lower abdomen. I usually pray that I will not be an Uke for demonstration during these time periods. I'm not sure if every lady goes through the same thing as me in this regard. This kind of thing isn't mentioned out loud often.

I thought that I had developed myself enough to take a good strike from someone bigger, and stronger than I, and then I faced a male partner whose level of strength taught me that I need to dodge faster. I think that I learned a valuable lesson.. I learned that I have to realize my limitations, put aside my pride, and to recognize when to say "enough! My body isn't up to this level, yet." otherwise I will get injured. I learned that, at my age, injuries are not a short lived problem.. they extend into months of adapted, and lessened training to compensate so that I do not re-injure, or damage further.

What intensity level do I expect when paired with a partner? I'd have to say, intense enough that both of us are training at our best without damaging the other person needlessly, or permanently.

Do I have the same expectations with women partners as with men? Yes.

I haven't experienced the same phenomena that you speak about JAzze regarding women injuring each other more. I'm sorry.. in my eyes the rate of injury seems to be the same. Although, statistics of martial arts injuries have shown that women are twice as likely to get injured. If you are interested you can look at this article that mentions a study done in Washington:
Martial arts injuries

[seienchin]

JAzze - welcome to K4L.

My experience is that fighting women and men IS different. The women tend to be faster, and if they are fighting another woman, they (and this is a gross generalisation, I know) tend to stay in close. The difference is that in close you are just as likely to wear a head kick as a punch from a woman. The range difference is markedly reduced.

AS for injuring one another more -nope, I don't have experience of that. I have suffered two fairly serious injuries in my career, and they were both sustained whilst fighting men. One was just a big clumsy lad, and the other was malicious rule-breaking when he couldn't land a legitimate technique on me.

Personally, I disagree with explicitly telling men NOT to punch the chest in women - they should learn to defend it. Perhaps for lower grade women, this is a good move, but a brown-or black-belt woman should be able to defend herself quite adequately.

Regarding level of power when using pads - go EXACTLY as hard as you would with a man of the same size as the woman who is holding. Anything less is both patronising and unnecessary. Women who get to hold for hard pad work develop confidence in using their weight to take a blow. It is a really critical part of full-contact training, and one that is invaluable. Don't deny it to them, unless they explicitly ask you to pull back.

A great set of questions - again - Welcome to K4L.

[Tettsui]

As in regards to punching a woman in the chest, what does this mean? If you broke down the human torso into thirds, is it okay to punch a woman on the top section of the body? I know the middle section is off limits and the bottom is fine to punch and kick. I'm confused about hitting the top of the chest where it meets the collar bone.

[supergroup7]

I know that I've been punched on the upper section of the torso quite often without any problems. ( This would be the top 6 inches.) I wouldn't recommend for anyone to strike in the chest guarded area as their fists would encounter my protection. Not only does this make an embarrassing loud noise, but it also inflicts pain on my attacker. The lower section, near the diaphragm, is safe to strike.

[supergroup7]

To be honest, Seienchin, I do not have as much experience in kumite as you.
If you say that women fight differently, then I believe you.