What Women Want

[seienchin]

Well - we've had the thread about how to manage men in the dojo....or more correctly, about how to manage ourselves to get the most out of our partners.

I'd like to hear from you all a description of your ideal male training partner...and before you all go all giggly on me...I don't want to hear about his tight butt, or his fab abs...

What attitudes and behaviours make a man a good training partner? Let's post them here and educate the world!

[mary222]

the ideal training partner is not affraid to hurt me and can control his temper. usually either you get the one that is not even trying to fight caus' your a girl (his gentlemen side i guess) or the one that lose any sense of control if you get him good (at lease you learn to get hit)
so guys what side are u on?
no offense !

i guess balance is the key here like anywhere else anyway

[supergroup7]

Gosh.. I don't think "man/woman" when I'm training so it's hard for me to tell you what makes a good male partner. I can speak about what I seek in someone who will train with me during class, though.

I like a partner who focuses on the same lesson as the Sensei is teaching with energy, and concentration. They are fully "in the moment", and willing to apply themselves to the task. We work together as one unit, encourageing each other to even better effort.

I found that rank didn't make a difference when it came to being a good partner. I've trained with white belts who had the right focus, and with Yondans who did the same thing, and, in every case, I enjoyed our training together.

[DKKC]

Someone who strives to be the best and who doesn't care about the gender of their training partners.

I've actually met many of these people (men and women) in Kyokushin.

[EddieP]

I fight the women just like I do the men, but at 25% power instead of 75% for the guys...that's all.

Fighting with women give me more of an oportunity to focus on my speed more than power.

I underestimate no one.

[helenosch]

I guess what I want is someone who actually knows that I can't take as much force as the rest because I'm of the... 'female persuasion' but still gives me everything he got. Also I like my perfect sparring partner a bit more technical and fun (so that sparring-sessions are food for soul and body ), this is more that when it gets really hard that we both don't get aggressive and do something we might later regret.

hm, looking at what I've written, I guess one of my sparring-partner is my perfect guy, we can go hard (he discovered that my punches can pack the same power as his... kicks sadly not, but I'm working on that ) and we can go more technical and managed to get some laughs in it....now he only has to come to training more!

[Raii]

I've met a few guys who refused to "hit a girl", even in sparring.
I find it provoking and respectless. An ideal partner, man or woman, should take in consideration how powerful punches you can take and how fast you are and such, and adjust themselves.

Sparring is supposed to be fun and you're supposed to learn from it. If you are sparring with someone who are always two steps ahead of you and doesn't let you hit him/her but always hits you, that's neither fun nor something you learn from.

So I guess the ideal sparring partner is someone who doesn't go too soft or too hard on you, and lets you have fun and experiment with techniques.

[erni64]

Originally Posted by Raii

I've met a few guys who refused to "hit a girl", even in sparring.
I find it provoking and respectless. An ideal partner, man or woman, should take in consideration how powerful punches you can take and how fast you are and such, and adjust themselves.

Sparring is supposed to be fun and you're supposed to learn from it. If you are sparring with someone who are always two steps ahead of you and doesn't let you hit him/her but always hits you, that's neither fun nor something you learn from.

So I guess the ideal sparring partner is someone who doesn't go too soft or too hard on you, and lets you have fun and experiment with techniques.

OSU! this is a great definition, I totally agree with Raii.

[EddieP]

for women to come on here and say men have no respect for not hitting them is just plain stupid...that's just the way MOST good men grew up . Karate or not, it is very respectfull for a guy not to hit a woman ...PERIOD.

It takes time getting use to...you can't just expect a guy who hasn't been hitting women for 28 or 35 years to just all of a sudden start wailing on some chick...think about what your saying.

OSU!!!!

[Olrac]

Originally Posted by EddieP

for women to come on here and say men have no respect for not hitting them is just plain stupid...that's just the way MOST good men grew up . Karate or not, it is very respectfull for a guy not to hit a woman ...PERIOD.

It takes time getting use to...you can't just expect a guy who hasn't been hitting women for 28 or 35 years to just all of a sudden start wailing on some chick...think about what your saying.

OSU!!!!

I disagree with you.
For me a woman wearing a dogi in the dojo is just another student/senpai/sensei!
If the man is sparring with a woman, he must adapt his way of sparring.
Most men are stronger than women, so it's obvious that the men won't spar with full power.
It's just common sense.
It's the same as sparring with kids.

It's a different story if a man starts fighting with a woman outside the dojo: that has nothing to do with karate.

[EddieP]

what I said is the truth... sure a guy can change his way of sparring, but then if he changes his way/adapts to you, and hits you slightly softer than he does the men...then is he not treating you like a woman?... hey if you want me to spar with you like I do with the guys...I might seriously hurt a female for the rest of her life.

I treat women the same in the dojo, but I never hit them like I do the guys...usually when I fight women I focus more on my speed than my strength and speed at the same time like I do with the guys.

[Lucy]

This is what i tell the guy's when i spar with them. Reduce the power and focus on your speed and direction/target of the technique/combinations. I think there are benefits to men sparring with women because generally they are alot quicker than men so they have to think more and in turn hopefully they can sharpen their reactions. Personally, if a guy is not used to fighting with a woman then i think he should let a woman hit him a bit and defend so he can make judgement on her abilities for a short while then join in attacking etc. Or this could work vice versa. Once you are aware of each others abilities then whatever suits. Every person male or female is different and we all learn something! You do a woman no favours 'going soft' her. If she hits hard, hit her just as hard back. Women benefit sparring with men because they know they can't over-power them so she has to focus on movement and being effective. It toughens a woman up sparring with the boys and mentally this stands them in good stead mentally wise because its a pleasant relief to fight a woman when you do get on the tatami! Thats how i feel anyway

[Lucy]

I also understand Eddie's view. It IS wrong in society for men to hit women and i can completely sympathise with this view. Men can feel extremely uncomfortable hitting a woman and if they really don't want to then why the hell should they?! We do kyokushin yes, but you have to respect human nature and its NOT natural for most men to hit women. It would be so wrong to make him do that if it is against his principles and moral understanding. There are plenty of other people to spar with in the dojo and if a guy does'nt want to spar with a woman then he can just stick with the guys. I respect that. Ive have sparred with men who don't want to hit me and i don't start bleating 'thats sexist'. Im cool with it. There's nothing worse than sparring with a guy who's so obviously not happy about hitting you, and you KNOW when this is the case even if he does'nt say you can sense it. He feels awkward and clumsy and probably ends up hurting a woman then he's upset because he did'nt want to do it in the first place. Respect each other. If a man does'nt want to hit a woman then that's not sexist, you respect his feelings and beliefs.

[sublimo]

I love to spar with womens! Especially Ne waza! Grappling!

If I spar with womens I adapt my selve off course. I also don t hit the chest. But in my dojo a lots off womens gets angry when I go to lightly! It just depends on the women you have in front off you. If I fight whit a women competition fighter in our dojo I go a lot harder than a non competitor. It is better for them to go down in training than go down on the tatami! Off course I still adapt the power and don t hit the chest. But for sure I try to make a small wazari. Just to let them feel and let them learn. (if I have the opportunity to score). I also try to make them as tired ass possible to fight forward.

If I´m preparing myselve for a tournament, I try to avoid her attacks, try to block a lot and counter strike.

It is not that I´m some kind off maniak who likes to hit womens. Everybody who knows me: I just loooove womens! They ´re so nice, soft and sweet!

[Lucy]

Originally Posted by sublimo

I love to spar with womens! Especially Ne waza! Grappling!

It is not that I´m some kind off maniak who likes to hit womens. Everybody who knows me: I just loooove womens! They´re so nice, soft and sweet!

Lol! Playful fighting is allowed and is great fun.... good for bonding

[sublimo]

Originally Posted by Lucy

Lol! Playful fighting is allowed and is great fun.... good for bonding

Hmmmm is that right?!!! Fun it is indeeed!
What do you mean with bonding?

[Lucy]

Ermmm how can i put that? Well i mean bonding in a way that it makes you feel at ease with one another and you learn to trust him so you won't feel intimidated if you are seriously sparring with each other. Yes that sounds good lol! Lmao come on boys who wants a wrestle?

[vapor]

Lucy-----be careful what you ask for!!

vapor

[Lucy]

Sorry, i see now that comment was a bit 'risque' but the question is what women want

[vapor]

No need to apologize, just be prepared for the next k4l get together....you might get sacked out of the blue!!

vapor