Kyokushin dominates

[Gheorgei]

Greetings! ive been training at kyokushinkai for about 2 and a half years, ive done just about every sport you can think of, some to quite a high level, football, swimming etc...karate dwarfs them all in a way that it has totally taken over my life! what is it that makes this so? i mean its even put my marriage under huge strain, to the point where i think i have to choose one or the other. does anyone else feel this way?

[Nix]

I know the feeling. My conclusion is that if karate dominates your life in such a degree that you are unable to succeed in other aspects of life, then you need to tone it down. Karate should coexist with your other interests, and work in synergy with them, not against them. It's okay to make sacrifices, but the sacrifice must not be greater than what you are getting out of it.

There is a difference between dedication and obsession.

[GJEChamberlain]

Osu!

Well said Nix.

Family - Work - Hobbies is usually the right order of priorities.

Unless you want a swap anyway, in which case obsessive training may be suitable grounds for divorce .....

Gary

[Kurisu]

Balance is key. Nix and Gary got it right!

[seienchin]

Originally Posted by Gheorgei

Greetings! ive been training at kyokushinkai for about 2 and a half years, ive done just about every sport you can think of, some to quite a high level, football, swimming etc...karate dwarfs them all in a way that it has totally taken over my life! what is it that makes this so? i mean its even put my marriage under huge strain, to the point where i think i have to choose one or the other. does anyone else feel this way?

When you die - do you want your mitts and bag at your bedside, or the people you love? It is possible to have both, if your family are similarly obsessed, or if you are capapble of finding balance, but if you have to choose, well, you have to imagine the future. Families tend to get richer and better over time (at least in the romantic world of happy-ever-after). few of us can sustain the intensity of training that fills our entire lives beyond our thirties. That's 60 or 70 years of lonliness. Guess it's pretty clear where my vote goes!!!!!

[Gheorgei]

yea i see youre point, but what is it that makes it so obsessive? how can i find the balance?

[supergroup7]

I agree with all the above.. Balance.. there needs to be balance.

How can you find balance? This is where organization may help. Take a look at how much time you spend working, how much time you spend training, how much time you spend investing into your relationship, etc. Then see how you can compromise, compensate, arrange, and balance them so that each one supports the other one.

[intwominds]

Originally Posted by Gheorgei

yea i see youre point, but what is it that makes it so obsessive? how can i find the balance?

Obviously you have found the something that just clicks with you, so thats why you are obsessed. You need to explain to your spouse how important it is, that it is not as important as them, but it is still very important to you. Then discuss how much training you would like to do and how much they would like you to do, then meet in the middle somewhere. Oh, and don't forget to invite them, maybe it could become a mutual obsession down the track.

[Lucy]

Its a tough one. Ive tried both sides of the coin! Firstly i gave up on training because of family and marriage. Never been so miserable in all my life, but my marriage was never right from the start! After my relationship went pear-shaped, i found happiness again in my training. Found a new relationship which lasted a few years, but this time i let the relationship go. Best decision for me in the end. Only because i didn't receive support from my partner.

You had your marriage, job and life before karate and they are what is most important. Like the others have said you have to find a compramize with your partner. I understand how you feel about your training, im the first to confess im obsessed with it but ive lost out on other areas of my life and believe me its not nice on your own! There's a well known quote i'll throw at you now....'behind every successful man there is a good woman'

[Brazilian Berseker]

Yin and Yang my friend....you have balance everything...........

[tmd]

You a re right, it is highly addictive but Find time for all things - there is 24 hours a day how many can you be training if it's more than 2 you're over doing it - little note - if it's a source of tension DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR TRAINING WITH OR AROUND YOUR LOVED ONES - it is so boring to those around us who don't do it . Have a beer after training, talk about the session then go home with your mind emptied of karate.

If you need to talk about it YOU HAVE FOUND THE FORUM

[walshy]

Originally Posted by tmd

You a re right, it is highly addictive but Find time for all things - there is 24 hours a day how many can you be training if it's more than 2 you're over doing it - little note - if it's a source of tension DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR TRAINING WITH OR AROUND YOUR LOVED ONES - it is so boring to those around us who don't do it . Have a beer after training, talk about the session then go home with your mind emptied of karate.

If you need to talk about it YOU HAVE FOUND THE FORUM

Got to agree with you there, my wife is getting sick of me talking about karate. She was very understanding about me training twice a week, was even thinking about me adding a third some weeks!!! But if I go on too much she gets the hump, so yes if it causes tensions keep it in the dojo/forum
It is hard to go home with an empty mind after training though, I am always buzzing and full of it

[Dent]

Osu!

Training, by its very nature, has the potential to be seen as a purely selfish act. Only through in depth discussion of your motivation can your partner understand what it means to you.

Good luck in resolving this issue!

Osu!