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03-07-2008, 04:04 PM
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#201
A guy walks in to a pet shop and sees a sign saying 'talking dog £50.00.'
As he walks toward it the dog says "Alright mate?" Astonished the guy exclaims: "Wow I've seen it all now!" The Dog replies : "You've seen it all? I've won Cruffs 5 times, been on TV and in 3 films, run eight marathons, saved three kids from drowning, sniffed out mines in Iraq and see that scar, bullet wound, sowed that up myself whilst escaping from the Taliban! The guy tuns to the owner and asks "Why the hell are you selling him for £50.00!!" Owner replies "Coz I'm sick of his bloody lies!"
__________________
All things are relative even Power & Truth 
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03-07-2008, 06:07 PM
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#202
Crufts is on this weekend, btw
__________________
The longer you train in karate, the more you learn about yourself.
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03-07-2008, 09:24 PM
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#203
Quote:
And how pray tell do you know that?
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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03-08-2008, 12:29 PM
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#204
Quote:
Wild guess, i guess 
__________________
The longer you train in karate, the more you learn about yourself.
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03-11-2008, 12:18 PM
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#205
Quote:
__________________
people fall into 2 catagories, talkers+doers..... you?
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03-11-2008, 12:19 PM
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#206
Oh dear God - hasbeen - shame on you. (although it did make me laugh)
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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03-24-2008, 08:10 PM
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#207
We lived next door to a mime for a while - late at night I used to play blank tapes at full volume - drove the guy mad!!!
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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03-29-2008, 12:29 AM
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#208
A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'Why are all those clocks here?'
St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.' 'Oh,' replied the man, 'very interesting... whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresa's clock,' answered St. Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she has never told a lie.' 'Incredible!' exclaimed the man. 'And whose clock is that one?' St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved only twice, telling us that Abe has told only two lies in his entire life.' 'Where's George Bush's clock?' asked the man. " Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan." vapor
__________________
Overlook Nothing, Regardless of its Insignificance
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03-29-2008, 09:10 PM
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#209
Great Joke Vapor
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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03-30-2008, 01:11 PM
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#210
ROFL Vapor...so politicians are held in the same high esteem everywhere, it seems.
__________________
Wisdom prevents mistakes. But you have to make mistakes to get the wisdom.
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03-31-2008, 03:26 PM
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#211
A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''
The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?'' The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.'' vapor
__________________
Overlook Nothing, Regardless of its Insignificance
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03-31-2008, 04:25 PM
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#212
Nice one Vapor
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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03-31-2008, 04:29 PM
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#213
Seemed appropriate as NYC starts the week off chilly with rain in the forecast this afternoon!
vapor
__________________
Overlook Nothing, Regardless of its Insignificance
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03-31-2008, 04:43 PM
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#214
It always freakin Rains when i get my car washed!!! lol
__________________
"I can only get Stronger by Killing myself every time I train." ~Kansetsu~
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03-31-2008, 08:45 PM
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#215
Quote:
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03-31-2008, 08:51 PM
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#216
I haven't seen it recently, but am aware of the comic.....is this from one of his strips?
vapor
__________________
Overlook Nothing, Regardless of its Insignificance
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03-31-2008, 08:55 PM
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#217
Not sure - think I saw something similar in one of the books, but in any case would be his kind of joke
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03-31-2008, 09:01 PM
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#218
It does seem something you might see...now that you mention it!
vapor
__________________
Overlook Nothing, Regardless of its Insignificance
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04-01-2008, 10:17 AM
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04-01-2008, 03:24 PM
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#220
Training video
OK it's a video not a one-liner, but pay attention 'Bloke' this is coming to your house soon!
YouTube - Fight for Kisses
__________________ "It's better to be the dog than the lamp-post&qu |
