Joke of the Day :)

[GJEChamberlain]

Osu! Seienchin,

LOL - not yet but I suppose that'll come soon.

Gary

[vapor]

let me guess....white gi, and a belt....

you guys are so predictable!!

vapor

[vapor]

For the Old Fogies Club

70-year-old George went for his annual physical.

He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night.

Then he said, "But you know Doc, I'm blessed.

God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"

A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, "Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me.

He claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the bathroom at night."

Thelma exclaimed, "That old fool! He's been peeing in the refrigerator again!"

vapor

[Dent]

Osu!

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest, in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe. He falls into a trap, goes unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.

He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.

"But you don''t understand!" he cries, "You can''t do this to me! I''m an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"

"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well look on the bright side. Soon you will be editor-in-chief!"

Osu!

[vapor]

Here is an oldie but a goodie....I remember telling this one when I was in elementary school!!

This little boy was at school one day and had to use the bathroom really bad.

So he raised his hand and told the teacher he had to use the bathroom really bad.

She said ok well let me hear your ABC'S first so he started saying them.

" A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O,,Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y and Z".

The teacher said "that's great but where's the P?

to which he said "it's running down my leg "


vapor

[hasbeen]

Originally Posted by vapor

Bloke and I have a long history of identical postings also...

vapor

osu vapor!! if you could manage to come over for this years open we could have some syncronised drinking!?

[vapor]

Let me know when it is....and I will see if I am in that part of the world!!

vapor

[Dent]

Osu!

Knowing Bloke's current interest in Baseball...

A Scottish tourist attended his first baseball game in the US and after a base hit he hears the fans roaring "Run....Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent: "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-run will ya!"

A third batter hits a slam and again the Scotsman, obviously pleased with his knowledge of the game, screams "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run will ya!"

The next batter steadfastly holds his swing four times and as the ump calls a walk the Scotsman stands up and yells "R-r-run ya bahstard, r-r-run!"

All the surrounding fans giggle quietly and he sits down confused. A friendly fan, sensing his embarrassment, whispers to the Scotsman, "He doesn't have to run, he's got four balls."

After this explanation the Scotsman stands up in disbelief and screams, "Walk with pr-r-ride man! Walk with pr-r-ride!!!!"

Osu!

[Bloke]

Nice one Dent

[hasbeen]

Originally Posted by vapor

Let me know when it is....and I will see if I am in that part of the world!!

vapor

consider yourself invited to this years "apre" british open beer fest,bloke is [between drinks] leading the oompah band

[vapor]

hasbeen- thanks for the invite!

And now back on topic...

A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law in the funeral home.

As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway.

I know he replied, I thought I saw her move!

vapor

[GJEChamberlain]

There's a new British film coming out soon about Harold Shipman, the family Doctor who is reputed to have murdered hundreds of his elderly patients.

It's called 'The old dear hunter' ....

[Bloke]

Gary - Im laughing but I know I shouldnt.

[GJEChamberlain]

You're a very bad bloke.

[hasbeen]

Originally Posted by GJEChamberlain

There's a new British film coming out soon about Harold Shipman, the family Doctor who is reputed to have murdered hundreds of his elderly patients.

It's called 'The old dear hunter' ....

OSU GARY!!

as we are a combat forum what sort of combat do you think he would have been good at?

i think a boxer, after all he did have a lethal jab !!

[Mikemok1981]

Originally Posted by hasbeen

OSU GARY!!

as we are a combat forum what sort of combat do you think he would have been good at?

i think a boxer, after all he did have a lethal jab !!

And the crowd groans

[hasbeen]

a guy i know was born by cesarean section, this has stayed with him for life,he still gets out of his car through the sun roof!!!!!

now THAT`S something to groan at

[vapor]

Originally Posted by hasbeen

a guy i know was born by cesarean section, this has stayed with him for life,he still gets out of his car through the sun roof!!!!!

now THAT`S something to groan at

That is a funny one!

--------------------------------

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.

"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

vapor