Joke of the Day :)

[Shokei Marcsui]

HA that's funny!

[Bruce]

That joke is older than me! But still very funny! Better tham my cow's breakfast at any rate.

[buckette]

how many dumb people does it take to change a lightbulb?








































five. One to hold the bulb and the other four to turn him around

[Bruce]

Nice one! And carrying on the lightbulb theme and irritating all the women on this forum........

Why does it take three women to change a lightbulb when they've got PMT?



















'IT JUST DOES, ALRIGHT!!!!'



In hindsight this joke doesn't work very well when written down.

[Bloke]

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but the lightbulb must really want to change.

[Lucy]

A visitor to a mental institution asked the psychiatrist how he decided which patients should be kept in.

The psychiatrist said "We fill up a bath, then offer a teaspoon, teacup or a bucket and ask them to empty the bathtub"

The visitor said "Oh i see, a normal person would choose the bucket, because its the biggest"

The psychiatrist said "No, a normal person would pull the ****ing plug out. Would you like a room near the window?" l

[Bruce]

Lucy

I can't believe it! That was going to be my next joke - I'll have to trawl through all my e-mails for another one now! Of course, I'd have told it so much better!!!!!

[Lucy]

Bruce

Oh im sure you would have You'll have to be quicker next time!

[Shokei Marcsui]

Julius Caesar walks into a bar. "I'll have a martinus," he says. The Bartender gives him a puzzled look and asks, "Don't you mean a 'martini'?"

"Look," Caesar retorts, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it!"

[Bloke]

Shokei

I Love that joke - its class!

[Rise]

Here's one:

How do you get an old lady to say the F-word?

























































Yell, "Bingo!"

[Shokei Marcsui]

HA! Good one. OSU!

[Rise]

Here's another one:

How many Kyokushin practitioners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

















































One, but five others to stand in a circle yelling "OSU!"

[Azimuth]

> >A man was praying to God.
> > He said, "God!?"
> > God responded, "Yes?"
> > The man said, "Can I ask a question?"
> > "Go right ahead," God said.
> > "God, what is a million years to you?"
> > God said, "A million years to me is only a second."
> > "Hmmmm..." the man pondered.
> > Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"
> > God said: "A million dollars to me is as a penny."
> > So the man said, "God, can I have a penny?"
> > And God cheerfully said, "Sure!! ... just a second

[Bloke]

Azimuth - good one.

The 3 wise men are going in to visit the newborn son of God

One of them is really tall

He whacks his head off the roof coming in and says "Jesus Christ"

Joseph goes "hey Mary, Write that down

It’s way better than Derek"

[Shokei Marcsui]

HA! very appropriate given the time of year


Why is cinderella bad at sports?
























Because she has a pumpkin for a coach and
she runs away from the ball.

[Bruce]

As it's Valentine's day here's a topical joke........

I got the wife a new bag and a belt for a Valentine's present........








The Hoover has never worked so well!!!!!!!!

[Bloke]

Hee hee - Sweet one Bruce

[Ju Kyu 10]

that is a good one. osu!

[Spirit]

are valintine's day... did you hear about the blind skunk? he tried to make love to a fart...