Joke of the Day :)

[vapor]

the instructions on where to laugh were helpful too!!

I know have my material for next week, when I visit my brothers family!

vapor

[ksan]

Originally Posted by vapor

the instructions on where to laugh were helpful too!!

I know have my material for next week, when I visit my brothers family!

vapor

?

Isnt that by default your family aswell ??

[vapor]

well, in a technical sense yes, I should say, my brother, his wife, and their 2 children.

vapor

[Lucy]

A bear, a lion and a chicken are sitting talking about who is the hardest.

The bear says, "when I bellow the whole forest trembles with fear."

The lion says, "when I roar the whole jungle shakes with fear."

The chicken says, "when I sneeze the whole world sh*ts itself."

[Bloke]

Good One Lucy

[Azimuth]





Confession?!

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the
bedroom cupboard to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in
there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a football."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "£250"
Man - "Sold."
...
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in
the cupboard together
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have football shoes."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "£750"
Man - "Sold."
...
A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, "Grab your shoes and
football, let's go outside and we have a game of football.

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and shoes."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
Boy -"£1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friendslike that. That
is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and
make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confessional and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest answers: "Don't start again. You're in my cupboard now"

[ksan]

yeah.... good one..

[Lucy]

lol! Great one Azimuth!

[Aunty Ichigeki]

Bruce!!! You've taken comedic timing to the extreme! What do monkeys cook their toast on?

[Bruce]

Aunty I

let me see........would the answer be........G'rillas????

Have I done the 'what do cows have for breakfast' joke yet????



MOOseli

[Bloke]

Bruce - Im not sure whether to laugh or cry!!

[Bruce]

In which case you'll be pleased to hear that I've exhausted my collection of bad animal jokes. Now onto my collection of Dr Dr jokes............on second thoughts I'll leave those for the future.

[Aunty Ichigeki]

Oh yeah.. it was worth the wait

[Bruce]

A banana goes to the Doctor's and says 'Doctor, I'm not peeling very well'.....

[Martin H]

ouch. Bad puns!. Im not sure I can take many of those :-)

[Shokei Marcsui]

A waiter asks a man, “May I take your order, sir?”

“Yes,” the man replies. “I’m just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?”

“Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die.”

[Bruce]

ah ha - a real joke - nice one!

[Bloke]

Nice one Marc - made me laugh out loud.

[Shokei Marcsui]

A guy walks into a bar, and there is a smaller man sitting at a bar stool. The larger man went over to him and whacked him right in the neck. As the smaller man fell off the barstool the larger man said "That Was a Kung Fu chop from China!" and took the smaller man's seat.

The next day, the large man walked into the bar again and the little man was again sitting at that barstool. The larger man walked over to him and whacked him again! As the smaller man fell off he said "That Was a Karate Chop from Japan!"

The next day it was a little different. The larger man was at the barstool, and the little man walked over to him and whacked him on his head! The larger man fell unconscious onto the floor. As the smaller man was walking out of the bar, he yells to the bar tender "When he wakes up, tell him that was a crow bar from sears!"

[Shokei Marcsui]

Harold's new job had him working really hard and late. He thought, "I should really get my wife a watch dog." He goes to the pet store and asks for a doberman.

The employee said, "If its a guard dog you want I have a dog just for you."

The man walks to the back of the store to get a dog and comes back with a little poodle.

Harold says, "This small thing, a watch dog? You're kidding, right?"

The employee says, "No, this dog is special; he knows karate."

"Karate! I don't believe it," Harold says.

The employee puts the dog down and says, "Karate the sign." And he points to a sign advertising dog food. The dog runs up and rips the sign to shreds. Harold is amazed at this.

The employee then says, "Karate the chair." And he points to a chair in the corner. The dog runs up and rips the chair to shreds.

By now Harold is convinced. "I'll take him," he says.

When he gets home he surprises his wife and she yells out, "This little thing, a watch dog? No way."

Harold says, "But this dog knows karate."

"Karate?" she yells. "Karate my foot!"