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10-31-2006, 05:01 PM
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#1
Joke of the Day :)
Why does Snoop Dog always carry an umbrella?
Fa Drizzle. 
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Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have? Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penney, 3.98; You like? Daniel: [laughs] No, I meant... Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants. 
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10-31-2006, 05:25 PM
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#2
Marc
I dont know whether to laugh or cry at that
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Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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10-31-2006, 07:20 PM
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11-01-2006, 04:44 AM
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11-01-2006, 06:28 AM
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11-01-2006, 01:15 PM
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#6
K4L Arigato gozaimasu.
This one is a little more racier than the other one.... read at your own caution. A guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a drink. Suddenly, a man hollers at him, ''I slept with your mom last night!'' Disturbed, the man tries to ignore him. Again, he hears, ''Your mom was good in bed last night!'' Again, he tries to ignore it. The man is just about to speak again but the guy stops him and says, ''Dad, go home, you're drunk!''
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Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have? Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penney, 3.98; You like? Daniel: [laughs] No, I meant... Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants.
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11-01-2006, 02:10 PM
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#7
Marc
I love that joke - I haven't heard it in years - well done.
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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11-01-2006, 04:04 PM
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11-01-2006, 07:45 PM
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#9
hehehehehe osu!!!!
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\"Until the day I die, I never want to be separated from my dogi; I never want to cease my training efforts in the dojo.\"
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11-07-2006, 10:15 PM
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#10
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold monday morning: its's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days". Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, i agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!" The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune". Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police...." MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with them.
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11-07-2006, 10:27 PM
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#11
HA.! Good one, Lucy. I haven't heard that one in ages. Way to keep this thread alive.
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Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have? Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penney, 3.98; You like? Daniel: [laughs] No, I meant... Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants.
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11-07-2006, 10:40 PM
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#12
bahgahaa lucy, i think I have read it somewhere before. Very funny!
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Team Kyokushin4life ~ nzproud 
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11-08-2006, 12:38 PM
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#13
Dr Dave
Dr Dave had slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal were overwhelming but every now and then he'd hear an internal reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality. Whispering.......... Dave.......... Dave.......... ...........You're a vet.
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11-08-2006, 01:07 PM
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#14
Nice one Bruce.
An oldie but a goodie
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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11-08-2006, 02:27 PM
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#15
......... You're a vet.
HA!! I haven't heard that one before. Good show! I'll wait to post another "joke of the day" tomorrow
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Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have? Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penney, 3.98; You like? Daniel: [laughs] No, I meant... Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants.
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11-09-2006, 02:43 PM
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#16
A little asian humor
I had a bunch of dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line...just one person in front of me, an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated. He asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen- today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller says, "Fluctuations." The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too."
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Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have? Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penney, 3.98; You like? Daniel: [laughs] No, I meant... Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants.
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11-09-2006, 06:02 PM
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#17
Shokei Marcsui
Very good! I'll have to find another joke that is 'clean' enough to use on here now. Bruce
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11-09-2006, 07:07 PM
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11-10-2006, 12:09 PM
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#19
Sorry all but I just can't find a clean joke so instead I'll resort to one that my kids told me this morning:
What do cows eat for breakfast................. ...................Moo-sli This is apparently extremely funny to children of 5 and under, especially when repeated 15 times in quick succession. I have refrained from the 'What do monkeys cook their toast on' joke as that just causes hysteria.
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11-10-2006, 03:03 PM
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#20
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he
hears: BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him FASTER... FASTER... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him. However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... clappity-BUMP... on his heels, the terrified man runs.Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps. With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping toward him. The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup! Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...and, (hopefully you're really ready for this!!!) The coffin stops!
__________________
Once there was a day, We were together all the way An endless path unbroken, But now there is a time A torture less sublime, Our souls are locked and frozen
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