BIG Problem....

[BiiggDDD]

It started a few hrs ago actually and i dont know what i should of done.

My friend and i knew each other for like 4yrs only in the dojo not outside, and we are kool and everything like best buds. Like guys we fool around and spar and stuff. Well tonight i end my training and am changing in the locker room, he comes in to change for his class becuz we have different class times 5-7 is me and 7-9 is him. He comes in the locker room and we greet each other the usual, then he throws and fake punch i do 2, then he tries to knee me in the head and punch me, so im like oh ok he wants to spar and fun and lil in the locker room, so i drop his butt in a quick grapple and keep him on the floor for like 1-2mins hes trying to get out but i wont let him, then finally i feel sorry for him so i let him go, then out of no where i mean no where he gets like really pisst, in the fighting somebody forreal stage so hes all like come on bi**** and im like what? hes like f*** this s***** and im like what are u talkin about so he tells his friend(who just now joined today) to close the door so im like wtf is going on, then he throws a few punches to my chest full strenght( HE HITS LIKE A BI****** ALLL WEAK PUNCHES) i basically feel sorry for him so he throws more and more tries to knee me and stuff and im like wtf im blockin everything then i bomb him literally bomb him in the chest with 1 punch he flies back so he swings hits me on the side od my lip ( HE HITS LIKE A BI***** THE PUNCH DIDNT STUN ME, KNOCK ME OUT OR ANYTHING IT WAS LIKE A PUNCH TO THE STOMACH NOTHIN NO PAIN, I NOW FEEL REALLLY SORRY FOR HIM AND IM GETTIN ANGER, but i stay my kool then he hits me a few more in the chest, and then he stops and im lookin at him like wtf? so then hes like yea man so i come next to him and i was like man u know i wasnt going to fight you so stop trying. So i just walk out of the locker room and go home.

Heres the thing from this MANY and i mean MANY people see me as a punk now afraid or whatever, some see me as the "bigger" man that walked away. In my pervious matches with him i whipped/bombed him to the floor so i knew for like 100000% i would of beat the living f***** out of him. So my problem is i feel guilty inside for doing this should of just walked out when he said come on man come on( becuz i thought he was jokin) or should of just knockout him out to just show him to not act like that.

Hes 17 like me 4th kyu im 3rd kyu, hes like 6' sometin im 5"8-10" not sure, hes skinny but as some muscle, and me im 200pds and i train my muscles chest,stomach,arms,legs so i look chubby but built ^^. Should I have just knocked him to the ground or just left like i did.

I need EVERYONS opinon on this forum plz

[smoothsake]

The English language is doomed...

[tmd]

Originally Posted by smoothsake

The English language is doomed...

Thing is I can hear him talk - it's the way he talks he writes just like he talks!! If I met him I'd know it was him, what else can you use but your own language?

To answer your point Big DDDDDDD is hard because I don't know YOU, I know what I have done in similar situations but my life experiences are different to yours and you were there and I wasn't.

From what I interpret he asked to play then you stepped it up by holding him down, this to me is where it started to go wrong, this took it from banter to a punch up, if you are asking me then I'm telling you the situation was yours to control and you blew it. Don't take me wrong, like I said I wasn't there so maybe you felt provoked or whatever but martial arts is about awareness as much as about fighting, more so, the biggest battles are never fought because at least one side sees sense and uses there words to change the situation, I would have told him that to me karate is for the dojo of self-defense it ain't for clowning around. Karate is not a game.

With regards to judgments the only ones that count are your own personal feelings and how this will help you become a better MA and your Sensei's because no matter how much you guys try and cover this up he's gonna find out, and he ain't gonna be impressed.

PS: you're still swearing even if you bleep it out (and you missed one)- try removing all the profanities in your post - I bet you can still read it and we can still understand both it and your passion for what you are saying.

[Brad]

if you knew you can beat this guy leaving was the best choice but i feel for you, you guys are so young and i hope it is but it probibly wont be the last conflict you may have with what is supposed to be a friend. Ive been there so i know how it feels. You did well walking away dont worry about that but i always think you have to protect yourself. keep your head up. Good advice to tmd.

[kakatootoshi]

Dear BiiggDDD,
First of all this is a Kyokushin forum, many of your respectable seniors (and juniors) are watching so do not spend half of your words swearing next time, alright?

And in my sincere opinion, trying to fight joking or not at the dojo locker room in any sense is very rude. Sorry for being a little religious about Kyokushin but the dojo locker room to me is still within dojo premise so respect, respect. Kyokushin is not like that.

Next time if you fight, do so on the tatami but not in a locker room or something (unless you get mobbed and need to defend yourself).

OSU!

[Lanky Sempai]

Punch-uation. The best technique you can employ on a forum. Ippon everytime.

[mpeters]

Osu BIIGGDDD

I think you did the right thing to step away, and I congradulate you for doing so. Often young guys your age think that they should just "smash it out " , prove a point, then oncr finished they realize the error of there ways.

If you know that you can bet this person there is no point in proving it to anyone else.

If this guys is your "friend" then talk, if that doesn't work, just stay away from him.

All the best.

[supergroup7]

The first mistake was the "play" fighting. In all of the dojo that I've attended, fighting was only allowed on the dojo floor in the supervision of a Black belt. I believe that this is to avoid the exact situation that you described. I would have responded to the opening fake punch by creating distance, and saying "I'm sorry, but we have to be in class to spar."

[BiiggDDD]

Thanks everyone, and im terribly sorry for my language when i wrote the thread it happen 20mins when the situation happened, so i mad and frustrated.

I know over 1000+% i would/can knocked him out, all those punches he threw didnt affect me 1 bit i was laughing at him while he threw them, i felt sorry for him i didnt want to hurt a friend, but if this occurs 1 more time i have nothing else to do but to "bash it out", talking doesnt work with people like that, but if he wants to talk about it ok kool. In the end i know my body condition and spiritual training paid off becuz all those punches felt weak and right now as i type im in perfect health, i can go for round 2 of chest shoots off me lol. The other good thing i guess was walking out, but i walked out laughing at him, shouldnt of done that. Yea but now i feel guilty inside and i have a urge just to take it out on him next time i see him to show him whats up

[kakatootoshi]

Dear BiiggDDD,

i know my body condition and spiritual training paid off becuz all those punches felt weak and right now as i type im in perfect health,

but if this occurs 1 more time i have nothing else to do but to "bash it out",

Yea but now i feel guilty inside and i have a urge just to take it out on him next time i see him to show him whats up

This is just online forum and some people may consider me for being too harsh, and again I am not your direct Sempai/Sensei so I am not in a good position to comment on your actions. But I have to ask if you truly understand the meaning of "spiritual training". You are not a beginner in Kyokushin and you still do not have that confidence and style to walk away from these silly scenarios?

I hope that you know that I am not being personal, man we are "kool" and I am looking forward to hearing that you do not have to be physical next time when similar things happen. But if next time you and your friend hit each other in the locker room again please do not post it in the forums and keep it between yourselves. If you are not sure please take look at the color of your obi and look at all the Kohai standing behind you.

OSU!

[Lucy]

Stop worrying about it and rise above it! Talk to the guy and say 'look i have'nt got a problem with you'. Say you don't understand what happened or why and hope that you can forget about it. If the guy still has a chip on his shoulder then leave him to it if he wants to behave like that. This all happened because he's knows physically you are more dominant and some guys, especially teenagers, want to be 'top dog' so to say. But your not wild animals so there's no need to get involved in the pecking order! One of you needs to take the 'mature' role. Just ignore him and if he carries on then he'll only make himself look stupid. You made him look silly in the locker room and dented his male ego. Think responsibly, you don't want to cause a problem in your dojo. Don't lower yourself to that level

[tmd]

I'm gonna be cruel because you ask the question and I think you want an honest answer...

Originally Posted by BiiggDDD

talking doesnt work with people like that, but if he wants to talk about it ok kool.

People like what BiiggDDD? is it hat you find it hard to resit the temptation to fight, is it the respect thing?, If you want to call yourself a Martial Artist one day you have the be the one who is Cool. Know yourself, feel secure in your abilities and know that if it kicked off you'd win, but know this without raising a fist and eventually you will get an aura of self respect, people will understand by the way you talk, carry yourself and your action not to mess with BiigDDD, fight and all that happens is a bigger guy or a guy with a weapon or the guy you beat up and his five mates turn up and kick the bejesus out of you.

You are learning the skill of self defense and the first lesson that by 3rd Kyu you should really understand is don't get involved with trash talk or knockabout's it is no road to walk down it only gets darker. You're a young guy and I'm guessing most of us have been down this road, which is why I tell you this; if you end up punching this guy out it will not make you the bigger man and you will feel like crap the next day, you may not even want to go back to the dojo cause he's there and then where are you? In a street fight no one wins, period.

[BiiggDDD]

BIG Respect to everyone

First to kakatootoshi thanks for the advice, the reason i said the spiritual training paid off because rather then knock him off his feet i just left the locker room laughing, doesnt sound nice i know =(, everyone on the forums is "kool" and i will try to see what happens next week so we can talk about what happened.
To Lucy, thanks ^^, i left the locker room although i gave him 2 powerful blows to the chest, and yea i am going to talk with him out see what happens.
To tmd thanks you proved a good point there, honestly no lie here, everyone i ever sparred as given me respect and i have done same to them, i sparred my friend over hundreds of times each time i won, only reason why i think he wanted to so call fight me was because he didn't want to seem weak against me when his friend was there, he wanted to show off, but i stayed my kool i let him get his "Show off/anger hits" off me for free, my hands where far apart and i told him go ahead idc and laughed, he get his hits and i left laughing might of angered him when i did that but to me i had no point to prove to him.

Thanks to everyone about this if it works out/or doesn't i will inform everyone.

[seienchin]

BiigDDD - I am really glad you posted this scenario on the forum - but yeah - watch the language. Some little kids visit here... I'm glad, because you have given us a chance to consider a scenario that many of us must face.

You are a teenage 3rd kyu. This is the time in your life when you get to start choosing what kind of a man will you be.

Will you be someone who "Observes the Rules of Courtesy, Respects superiors and refrains from violence?". On this occasion you did, but only in the physical realm. If you had really achieved the enlightenment that we all aim for, then you would not even be WANTING to resolve it with fighting. It would seem wrong, and you would understand that at a gut and a head level.

There is a really interesting account of the life of Sosai on this webpage:
Mas Oyama, founder of kyokushin karate

I can't vouch for the accuracy of it, but maybe others here can. What is different about this story, compared to any other that I know of, is that it records an episode where Sosai struck someone in a self defence situation, and killed that man with a single punch. The website describes that there were eye-witness accounts and claims it went to court where Sosai was exonerated.

Even if not true, the story as it is presented is cause for reflection on the power we learn to wield in karate. Mere pride, image or "face" is not a reason to unleash the potentially lethal force with which you have been entrusted. My exhortation to you would be to aim NEVER to throw a punch outside the dojo, (or in this case, outside of class-time supervised sparring). Not ever. There are loads of cases reported over the years of people dying after a single punch. So if you throw a punch - are you ready for it to kill? The risk goes up if you punch while you are angry.

My opinion, for what it is worth, is that humiliation does not matter. Image does not matter. People laughing at you, or thinking you are lame does not matter. All that matters is that you know you have done what is right and just. A locker room brawl? I don't think so.

Good on you for having the courage to make your body walk away. Now see if your heart can follow your body.

[jcbel]

Well if it really becomes an issue I'd say talk it over with your Sensei present - he should be able to sort things out between you. Or he may smack you both with a Shinai.

[Brad]

I agree with jcbel and good wack with the shinai in front of the glass both standing next to each other might work thats what would happen in our dojo.

[strongman1]

Osu

Do talk it out because good friends are hard to find
Please let us know what happens

[blackdog]

Originally Posted by tmd

People like what BiiggDDD? is it hat you find it hard to resit the temptation to fight, is it the respect thing?, If you want to call yourself a Martial Artist one day you have the be the one who is Cool. Know yourself, feel secure in your abilities and know that if it kicked off you'd win, but know this without raising a fist and eventually you will get an aura of self respect, people will understand by the way you talk, carry yourself and your action not to mess with BiigDDD,

I have no idea who to credit this quote to, and i can only paraphrase from memory, so please forgive me if i get it wrong, but.....

"You can always pick a Black Belt out of a crowd. He is the one moving like a marine on roller skates"

TMD is right on the money, a real martial artist doesnt need to fight anyone in some street fight.

Bren

[Deaken]

OSU,

From a dojo operator's perspective, I would find this type of behaviour unacceptable from any of my members whatever the age. There should be no play fighting in the change rooms, or anywhere else in the dojo. In fact in the change rooms, members should be quite, polite and courteous to each o