You What!!!!!!!

**tmd** · 11-27-2008, 02:20 PM

As inspired by Bloke & Dent a new thread to vent your angst at the miserable side of modern life; the tradesman who can't be bothered to turn up when they say, then when they do they make it worse then send you a bill, the van parked in your spot when you get home after a long day, the way that inflation dropping would have been good news a few weeks back but now it's happened it's like; oh no that's bad news now...WHAT THE.....

Mine for the day (I am a miserable bugger so will post here on a fairly regular basis!

I helped my daughter order her first driving license online so that we'd not have to take the risk of posting off her Passport as she may need it over Christmas and our postal service is not 100%. We went through pages and pages of gumph but hey they can get her details off the passport people so it's all worth it right? WRONG! We get through the thing pay our £50.00 and then it says print off this form and send us a new photo (£5.00) and your passport!!!

We still have to post off all the stuff we'd have had to if we'd just walked into the post office and collected the form. ahahahahahahahahaha! To top if off as we had started the process on line we could not use the prechecking service (£3.00 extra) to have the post office staff check the docs and save us having to post of the passport - which we could if we'd done the whole thing at the counter!!!!

So I call them up to cancel it as it was on my credit card (then down to the post office to do the above checky thing) and the guy actual put the phone down on me because the application was in my daughters name not mine, not 'sorry sir you'll have to get your daughter to call and by the way you'll have to be there to to clarify the CC details' (as we then found out later) just bang, put the phone down on me!

Bloke · 11-27-2008, 03:04 PM

OOOOhh I could be on here a lot.

I feel you pain TMD - I really do. Surely the whole point of an online service is to make it easier - not harder.

Which annoying thing do I choose for today. Ok - I work for a software company. I never went to college and just about passed my secondary school exams - Im not stupid but I was lazy. But I work with people who have degrees and qualifications coming out their ears. The best and the brightest - yes but only when it comes to coding etc.

Sadly when it comes to run of the mill stuff the lights are on but no one is home. Classic example - Im walking past the kitchen and I see the milk on the counter. Later on Im going to get asked why is the milk gone off. So I send an email around saying please put the milk back on the fridge. I have sent this email 9 times in the last year (definitely 9 - I'm grumpy and I count these things to argue with people later).

Now as I said I have no college education but surely we all know that the milk goes in the fridge. How does some one in full time employment not get this. I dont understand it - the fridge is less than a meter away. You wont get tired on the way there and have to take a break!!!! Aaarrrggghhh.

**tmd** · 11-27-2008, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bloke

Now as I said I have no college education but surely we all know that the milk goes in the fridge. How does some one in full time employment not get this. I dont understand it - the fridge is less than a meter away. You wont get tired on the way there and have to take a break!!!! Aaarrrggghhh.

Bloke, I have a similar education/ work environment i.e. most of the people I deal with have degree; I left school with a couple of GCSE's I've worked from 16 till this day without the need for one. Most of the 'systems' that really get to me are designed by people who have doctorships but act like they came down in spaceships as they really don't seem to get HOW LIFE WORKS!

**jcc** · 11-27-2008, 04:47 PM

Osu! tmd,

I think you may really have done it now with this thread!

I recently had a bit of fun with gov.online as well. I was trying to find out about importing a vehicle into the UK. The site claimed that all the information/forms you needed was there, so I duly downloaded all the gumph and carefully worked through it. I then found that one important form seemed to be missing. After another half an hour or so seaching the site, I found a small note saying that said form was only available on request from DVLC! Oh man, bureaucrats, bless ´em!

Another pet hate I have are mechanics. I do know a bit about the subject myself and generally do my own tinkering, but I remember once having a brake problem that I couldn´t crack. So I popped down to my friendly 'under the railway arches' mechanical genius and watched while he tinkered around. After about 5 minutes, he stops, says that that should do it and tries to charge me 300 pounds! Haha.

Osu!

GJEChamberlain · 11-27-2008, 05:02 PM

Osu!

I love this. It's no accident my profile picture shows Victor Meldrew. The Fire Service had a tried and tested system for years in all it's paperwork, but then some faceless Government bigwig decided we needed to be 'paper free' by the year X

The novel solution was to put computers on every station but to CONTINUE with the paper trail until the computer systems were running problem free. This instantly doubled the admin as forms still needed filling out, then everything painstakingly re-done on the computer. The first casualty was training, as junior officers spent hours in the office swearing at the screen instead of out on the drill-yard. The next was decency. As they couldn't afford to send everyone on a course, the novel solution was to announce everyone could use the computers for 'their own activities'. I suppose they thought we'd be designing novel birthday cards or something and learning skills along the way, but men being men they just hit the porn sites - big time.

When an audit revealed the use these Government computers in public buildings in working hours had been put to, heads were requested to start rolling, but since they had said "Anything" when asked what they could be used for .... Well you would, wouldn't you?

Gary

Aunty Ichigeki · 11-27-2008, 07:30 PM

Here's one... we're renovating & needed our gas meter shifted because it sat right where our front door will be. I called the gas company & talked to about 6 people before someone logged my request. Disturbingly the ditzy girl INSISTED I give her a distance & direction for the move of the meter even though I INSISTED I was at work and, even if I was at home I couldn't measure accurately because where we wanted it was 3 meters above where it is (up a rough terrace), also, she wanted left or right directions which weren't applicable as I wanted it moved on a diagonal! I told her we HAD to liase with the contractor & would drop everything & get to the house in 5mins anytime. She said it didn't matter just a rough indication would do. Months later I still hadn't heard anything from a contractor. 5 nagging phonecalls later, they sent the contractor to the house & he moved the meter to the exact spot I'd 'estimated' months previously from my desk at work.... entirely the wrong place. They haven't responded to my calls & emails in over a month and they direct debited payment for the 'service'. We're thinking we'll have to get the gas cut off & go to bottle gas so we can proceed with the renovation!!
Grrrrrr!!!

sandman · 11-27-2008, 09:31 PM

I could post a new one every day on this thread....

I work for an FDA regulated company (nuff said already, I'm afraid...). I'm a manufacturing engineer whose job it is to improve processes - you know, reduce defects, improve quality, increase efficiency, etc... Problem is, any change you want to make requires so much testing and B.S. that it usually ends up being less costly to just leave it alone. Without going into too much detail, I started a project about a year and a half ago to implement an improved component design that was going to basically eliminate a certain type of defect we were having. We expected it to take about 3 months, even factoring in the BS bureaucracy crap. Ended up finally passing through just a couple of months ago. This was the type of thing where if you knew anything about the process it was absolutely plain to see that this was going to be a no-brainer. Problem is, we had to present the project to a central board, consisting of jokers who know nothing about our processes, and they required about a zillion totally meaningless tests, then we ended up having to redo some of the meaningless tests because somebody didn't complete the meaningless paperwork right, and so on - maddening!!!!

**tmd** · 11-28-2008, 08:53 AM

Osu Sandman - the best one is when you have to redo the meaningless test because they don't actually understand the meaningless results and how they would effect the real life performance of the component.

Had a bit of this when I worked for a big US co. I had to do this thing called Six Sigma - it was interesting stuff but the up and down was no matter how obvious the change would make savings and increase performance unless Six Sigma agreed with you just got turned down - COMPUTER SAYS NOo! Syndrome big time.

Dent · 11-28-2008, 03:07 PM

Osu!

As I haven't made my way over to the new Dojo yet today, and because I'm not expecting to see the plumber, electrician or painter finishing what they've started anyway...

I'll talk about something else entirely.

Imagine a company full of mechanical engineers and the like. Said company works with diode production, and within fairly specific parameters. Part of the process includes the use of platinum crucibles. Nice chunks of metal, each of them rolls around at about $22K, and thanks to the nature of the process, they are in pristine condition.

Well, everywhere except in Accounting. In Accounting, they are listed as tools (?), and recently came to a null value, thanks to..... asset depreciation. Company policy is that as an asset reaches null value, it must be replaced. Great for toilet paper, not quite as useful for said crucibles. Now a vital part of the operating process is sitting in the safe, and the company needs to spend $130K+ on replacement thereof...

Osu!

Kansetsu · 11-28-2008, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dent

Osu!

As I haven't made my way over to the new Dojo yet today, and because I'm not expecting to see the plumber, electrician or painter finishing what they've started anyway...

I'll talk about something else entirely.

Imagine a company full of mechanical engineers and the like. Said company works with diode production, and within fairly specific parameters. Part of the process includes the use of platinum crucibles. Nice chunks of metal, each of them rolls around at about $22K, and thanks to the nature of the process, they are in pristine condition.

Well, everywhere except in Accounting. In Accounting, they are listed as tools (?), and recently came to a null value, thanks to..... asset depreciation. Company policy is that as an asset reaches null value, it must be replaced. Great for toilet paper, not quite as useful for said crucibles. Now a vital part of the operating process is sitting in the safe, and the company needs to spend $130K+ on replacement thereof...

Osu!

LOL...OSU!

Unless you own the company...then it's a win win for you...your company gets new crucibles...and YOU get to take them home...melt it down, and you have a new ring to present to your wife for xmas....Problem Solved...hahaha...

OSU!

Dent · 11-28-2008, 03:38 PM

Osu!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kansetsu

Unless you own the company...then it's a win win for you...your company gets new crucibles...and YOU get to take them home...melt it down, and you have a new ring to present to your wife for xmas....Problem Solved...hahaha...

At over 9 lbs of ring, I'm not sure how welcome that gift would be.

And it isn't my company, otherwise I can assure you that this wouldn't be one of the many mistakes I'm likely to make!

Osu!

Bloke · 11-28-2008, 04:31 PM

Somebody said to me recently that they couldnt find the remote for the TV so they went looking for it. As hes telling me the story he says "and its always in the last place you look". Now Im sure some comedian has made a joke of this before but its worth mentioning again.

Of course its in the last place you look - if it was in the second last place and you find it why would you keep looking????

**tmd** · 11-28-2008, 04:40 PM

Surely he went to where his wife told him it would be "Where he left it!"

Other great pearls of wisdom....

"Where did you last have it?" If I knew that it would not be lost!!

"Oh you made it then!" No I'm still at home I missed the bus, you ejit!

"look it up in the dictionary" how do I that? I CANT SPELL IT!!!!!

**jcc** · 11-28-2008, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dent

Osu!

At over 9 lbs of ring, I'm not sure how welcome that gift would be.

Osu!

Osu! Dent,

Obviously you´re no heavy metal fan!

And if you can get your hands on any of those crucibles, just bung one over this way!

Dent · 11-28-2008, 05:12 PM

Osu!

There are a half-dozen to go around, JCC. If they give them away, I'll put you down for one!

Osu!

walshy · 11-28-2008, 08:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tmd

Surely he went to where his wife told him it would be "Where he left it!"

Other great pearls of wisdom....

"Where did you last have it?" If I knew that it would not be lost!!

"Oh you made it then!" No I'm still at home I missed the bus, you ejit!

"look it up in the dictionary" how do I that? I CANT SPELL IT!!!!!

Or another great one, you walk in from a downpour and wife asks if you got wet

Dent · 11-28-2008, 08:58 PM

Osu!

Wonderful. Painter has a hangover from yesterday, but might make it out next week. The plumber is at his second home (???!!!), and I can't find the electrician anywhere...

(With narrowed eyes, and furrowed brow...) I can't help but hope that they will want to join us for training. Half of me is motivated by the desire to see them learn some self-discipline. The other half............

Osu!

**tmd** · 11-28-2008, 09:53 PM

They know it's YOUR dojo right??? Man these guys are dumb!

Quote:

Originally Posted by walshy

Or another great one, you walk in from a downpour and wife asks if you got wet

Or the other version - You stand there with rivets of water running from your shoulders, you eyes blood red and blinking through the stinging salt filled water, your boots squelch as you throw yourself through the door to try and limit the amount of drenching fluid that would ruin that new hall carpet you've only just laid and as you turn to greet your beloved they look at you and say...."Is it raining?" NO I GOT BIRD CRAP ON MY JACKET SO I RAN THROUGH A #*%KING CAR WASH!!!!

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