Silliest ever self-defence technique

[sandman]

Originally Posted by BigAl

The two that stick out most in my mind are kicking a gun or knife out of somebody's hands, and using the purple nurple as a viable self-defense technique.

Ahh, the infamous purple nurple - now we're getting into some serious advanced stuff. That leads me to a couple other highly effective techniques. One of the most basic, but effective, is the wedgie - especially the "atomic" version. And if an altercation ever starts up in the rest room, you can apply the Swirly technique. For those of you not familiar with the Swirly, here it is in a nutshell:

1) Place opponent's head in toilet
2) Flush toilet

Both techniques are more about inflicting psychological damage rather than real physical damage. However there are physical risks associated, including severe interior gluteal burns in the case of the wedgie, and of course the possibility of drowning from the Swirly. The primary goal is to humiliate the opponent, so both are more effective when applied in front of an audience, preferably friends of the opponent. And the Swirly is even more devastating to your opponent if he or she happens to have long hair. Then you get the "Swirly" hair effect from which the name of the technique derived. Not as much effect on a bald guy....