workplace bullying

[seienchin]

We spend a lot of time in karate thinking and preparing for physical attack. Most of us go our entire lives never needing to use those physical defence skills.

workplace bullying or other-place non-physical attack seems to be a more frequent occurrence. Can karate help you (in a non-physical) resolution to such a situation.

have you experienced workplace bullying? Did your karate training help you? How?

[GJEChamberlain]

Osu! Seienchin,

Having joined the Fire Service at 18 and working with loads of ex-military types, I found the sense of humour and 'initiation rituals' difficult at first.

I then decided I'd rather be the dog than the lamp-post so learned to give it back, usually by being quick witted and sharp tongued, but also by being prepared to handle 'horseplay' - that quaint word used to excuse bullying - with some fun stuff of my own.

I'm afraid the workplace then was just like the schoolyard. People learnt who they could manhandle and who would give a painful response. (I got left alone fairly soon)

I think now it's gone too far the other way. People here get massive sums of money if someone hurts their feelings, (boo hoo) while soldiers who receive injuries have to fight for years to get a pittance.

Gary

[Dent]

Osu!

I've found that it's those without a sense of humour who are both the constant victims of bullying at the lower level, and the bullies further up the food chain.

I've been hazed, which, if taken in good humour, is usually over quickly, and then normal give-and-take interplay can occur. When it's coming from the top, it's a different situation.

For today's example, I've been on the receiving end of an officer who didn't agree with my relatively liberal religious and political views.

Despite great temptation, I chose not to have an accidental discharge at about 12 inches from his face. And this was a temptation I faced several times. Although Karate helped me with the physical and mental aspects of that situation, I think my upbringing had more to do with it in the long term. What the Karate training did was prepare me for the long hours and the aches and pains of the training, and the extra helpings of runs, calisthenics, guard duty, inspections etc.

When someone cracked, it wasn't me, and that incident was the final word in that officer's file.

Osu!

[hasbeen]

bullying is my pet hate. i work in an office environment and we have somebody in charge of payroll/credit control who like to give it "large" to people on a regular basis.

it is not the sort of company that is p.c or issues warnings etc.

i have tried talking to him, threated to bash him on numerous occassions.......when this happens he turns it all into a joke and backs down.

two things have stopped me.

1] i might lose my job..[do a specialist job=not easy to replace]

2] if i do hit him i am going to try and hurt him, does this sort of person deserve a broken jaw/lost teeth etc just for being obnoxious?

my latest ploy when he starts is to humiliate him in front of people but does that make me any better than him?

i think it is only a matter of time before somebody does the deed, i hope it`s not me!

any other suggestions for dealing with this sort of person?

[Dent]

Osu!

What is he actually doing, H?

Osu!

[hasbeen]

Originally Posted by Dent

Osu!

What is he actually doing, H?

Osu!

OSU DENT!

along the lines of...if a workmate wants a sub until payday, in a loud voice he will say something like, f*** off you aint getting it or suchlike, in a very agressive manner knowing that if the employee approaches me or a director we will o.k it..he makes them do this...making them feel like oliver twist...he has the authority to give them what they want without making a fuss unless it`s a vast amount of money which it never is.

or he is also incharge of post etc...if somebody asks for a stamp or whatever he will give a similar reply and then does it.

just very agressive and likes to play the power game.

[Dent]

Osu!

Ah. A real treasure then...

In your shoes, i might approach the most senior person and suggest that some employees are questioning the solvency of the company, because X is behaving oddly regarding small sums of money. Maybe we should have a policy that amounts less than Y should automatically be approved to employees.

Just take him out of the game. What do you think?

Osu!

[GJEChamberlain]

I had one Watch Officer who picked on all the youngsters, constantly bitching at us.

I'm surprised he never noticed every mug of tea I made him tasted a bit funny.

[hasbeen]

Originally Posted by Dent

Osu!

Ah. A real treasure then...

In your shoes, i might approach the most senior person and suggest that some employees are questioning the solvency of the company, because X is behaving oddly regarding small sums of money. Maybe we should have a policy that amounts less than Y should automatically be approved to employees.

Just take him out of the game. What do you think?

Osu!

a good idea but it doesn`t get around, there aint no money in the petty cash you`ll get it when i decide to go to the bank etc; + it is a medium sized company employing about 150 people..i am the next jump down from a director and so is he, he is also very,very close friends with the guy who owns 95% of the firm....i am of the opinion if somebody did bash him and then humblely opologised afterwards and he accepted it the m.d would understand, knowing the sort of person he can be but who wants to worry about wanting to bash somebody, or in my opinion even worse have to opologise to somebody who`s had it coming for years.

the funny thing is i don`t actually hate the person, he just irritates me!

[Dent]

Osu!

Originally Posted by GJEChamberlain

I had one Watch Officer who picked on all the youngsters, constantly bitching at us.

I'm surprised he never noticed every mug of tea I made him tasted a bit funny.

Note to all Mods: No upsetting Gary before tea-time.

Osu!

[Dent]

Osu!

Originally Posted by hasbeen

a good idea but it doesn`t get around, there aint no money in the petty cash you`ll get it when i decide to go to the bank etc; + it is a medium sized company employing about 150 people..i am the next jump down from a director and so is he, he is also very,very close friends with the guy who owns 95% of the firm....i am of the opinion if somebody did bash him and then humblely opologised afterwards and he accepted it the m.d would understand, knowing the sort of person he can be but who wants to worry about wanting to bash somebody, or in my opinion even worse have to opologise to somebody who`s had it coming for years.

the funny thing is i don`t actually hate the person, he just irritates me!

So his real problem is that he doesn't have personal accountability. Because there's someone who will run interference for him, he can be a constant ass.

Sounds like your idea to embarrass him is the best way to go. If others start to join in, it may turn the tide.

Osu!

[hasbeen]

Originally Posted by Dent

Osu!



Note to all Mods: No upsetting Gary before tea-time.

Osu!

too right dent, might be an idea to keep an eye on your beer if you upset gary before october!?

[jcc]

Osu! hasbeen,

The only thing that occurs to me about your 'problem' is to go the other way. Be really nice to the guy (cups of tea?) and consult him constantly about everything, but in a quiet, humble way. If you get enough people doing this, you can drown him with work, or make him think you´ve all gone crazy . Either way, it might shut him up.

Osu!

[tmd]

I've had my fair share of this kinda thing right up to giving up and smacking them one - cost me my job but there were plenty to go around at the time and it was pre-kids, mortgage etc.

Doesn't hurt to actually remind them what you do, conmplaining about your bruises is fairly subtle . On one site after much egging on from the other mates (trainee engineers, it was 20 years ago) I did a block break, for some reason my tea never tasted funny no one ever nicked my sarnies or hid my tools or any of the other pranks played on the other mates.

I hate bullying always have and since overcoming it as a teenager I have always cut it off sharp - I know I have a quick wit and can be more than a little sarcastic, but if I see anyone bullying I stop it in it's tracks, I've often been asked my mates who know I like a laugh "Have you lost my sense of humour" but I find nothing funny in bullying and normally use my wit to down the bully before they get ahead of the game.

Without the physical ability that Karate and the other MA's have given me I would not have the confidence to have this attitude, I also feel it has given me the sense to be aware off my situation be it a conversation that is going the wrong way or a bottle being swung at my head.

[medguy]

Originally Posted by tmd

Doesn't hurt to actually remind them what you do, conmplaining about your bruises is fairly subtle .
I hate bullying always have and since overcoming it as a teenager I have always cut it off sharp - I know I have a quick wit and can be more than a little sarcastic, but if I see anyone bullying I stop it in it's tracks, I've often been asked my mates who know I like a laugh "Have you lost my sense of humour" but I find nothing funny in bullying and normally use my wit to down the bully before they get ahead of the game.

Without the physical ability that Karate and the other MA's have given me I would not have the confidence to have this attitude, I also feel it has given me the sense to be aware off my situation be it a conversation that is going the wrong way or a bottle being swung at my head.

I couldn't agree more. I have found that humiliating that bully in front of his peers worked wonders for him leaving me alone. I had this very type of incident when I was in the military and was temporarily assigned to a specialized and very close knit unit. Everyone was pretty nice--or at least cordial--to me except for this one fellow. He would take every opportunity to bad mouth me and belittle me, even though he didn't know me.
I was so frustrated that I went to one of his peers to find out what he had against me. I was told that he was actually a really good guy, but he had a napoleon complex, and he was just staking his territory. The best way to get back at him was to humiliate him.
Well, on a particular instance I had my chance. This peer quietly came up to me and whispered in my ear what I should do, and wouldn't you know it, this bully left me alone for the rest of the time I was assigned to this unit.

Now, he was never physically assaulting me, so it was different. And his bullying was in the form of belittling and so forth. But I never took him as a physical threat.

Those types of bullies I have no tolerance for. I have stared them down and let them know, in my most menacing tone, that they should stop their bullying and be polite. I have never had anyone call me on it.
Thankfully, I am blessed with a slightly menacing appearance (although I'm a teddy bear) so they have taken me at my word.

Just my experiences.

[hasbeen]

given me a good idea guys, this guy is about 6` 3" and big but he gave it large in the pub a few years ago and a little scottish guy about 5` 6" jumped up and headbutted him in the mouth[must have been on a trampoline!] and he went to pieces.

next time he abuses somebody i am going to tell him in a loud voice i`m going to get my mate the"scotty" on the phone!!!!!!!!!!

don`t get me wrong if push came to shove i could deal with this guy,no problem but i don`t think his behaviour,albeit obnoxious warrants me doing it.

[jcc]

Osu! hasbeen,

Aaah - the good old Glasgow kiss, enough to put the frighteners in the best of us!

Given the number of k4l-ers from Scotland and the get-together you´re organizing, are you thinking of inviting your colleague along as well?

[hasbeen]

Originally Posted by jcc

Osu! hasbeen,

Aaah - the good old Glasgow kiss, enough to put the frighteners in the best of us!

Given the number of k4l-ers from Scotland and the get-together you´re organizing, are you thinking of inviting your collegue along as well?

osu jcc!!
from what i`ve seen of pheezy`s lot, i just wouldn`t have the heart to do it!