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[Minas]

I put this in the beginners tread because I think I might not be the only beginner having this problem. Maybe not to this extend, but I think more beginners might get afraid during kumite.

During kumite, when I feel I'm in control, and with in control I do not mean in control of the fight, but in control of my body, everything is ok. I can focus on blocking punches and kicks, I can focus on my guard and I can make combinations.

The problem I've got is that when I feel like I start to loose that control, I start to feel real fear. My throat closes, I completly block, it's like my brains get disconnected from my body (I used to have this in the past during my ptsd, so I think that this has become the first reaction of my body to do in threatning situations), I start to tremble and once I had to leave the dojo because I couldn't stop crying and almost started to hyperventilate, it was so embaressing. I had nightmares for the next 3 nights and have been a mental mess for a few days. I know I've got this issue this severe because of trauma's of the past. And it's not pain, or fear of pain that causes this fear, it has purely to do with feeling like I'm losing control of what's happening to my body.

Also when I sparred with grading, after grading my hands were still trembling and I felt really bad and had to cry when I got home, so I feel like this issue I've got with kumite sits pretty deep inside me, cause I get so upset from it.

I don't like it at all that I have this. Because I know that when I get this in a safe environment like the dojo, how could I ever defend myself in real life if someone would ever attack me.

I haven't got this issue when I spar with men and high belts. High belts generally fight more controlled and because I'm a girl men are mostly a bit more carefull with me, while the girls at my dojo really kick my ass and don't hold back when they spar with me(also most girls are beginners and fight less controled because of that). And also when I spar against girls, mostly they are a lot shorter then me. When I start to feel the fear the first thing my body wants to do is give some punches as hard as I can, but I feel that if I start to punch on such a moment when I'm getting afraid, those punches won't be with a lot of control. And when I spar shorter girls then me I'm afraid I will hit them in the face so I hold back and then it takes one or two more punches towards me and I panic.

I know that to cope with this fear I will need to get more experience in kumite and find a way to let go of the fear of losing control of my body in general, but I was thinking if there is anyone on this forum having similar experiences, or tips on how I can deal with this fear when I start feeling it. Are there ways to change the fear into something else during kumite?

[jcc]

Osu! Minas,

You say your 'throat closes', which makes me wonder about your breathing. Correct breathing is just so important and often ignored. Maybe you could practice breathing deeply, filling your abdomen like pouring the air into your body from a jug like water! I always found that a good way of controlling the butterflies etc. Maybe it could help you control your panic.

Osu!

[Nix]

Overcome your fear
or
quit


Fighting is not comfortable. For some, the major adrenaline rush is too much for them to cope, and they simply panic or freeze. There is only one way to get used to it, and that is keep pushing. But don't push too hard, you just want to move out of the comfort zone. It's no shame to ask a training partner to relax. Acting human punching bag will not help you gain the confidence it takes to fight. Take it slow. If you really want to, you'll get there in time.

I had a friend in another dojo with a similar problem. Some times, she would just break down in tears - not because anyone wanted to destroy her; I just think she felt uncomfortable. It was sad, but the right decision for her, was to quit.

[jcarmello]

Minas, the breathing point is a very valid one to consider. By your post it also sounds as if the very real punching and combat is a little much for you. This can be overcome by asking you opponent to ease up, getting more experience and developing more evasive technique.

I hope you adapt to the environment of kumite soon so that you may excel and drop the constricting anxiety.

Osu!

[Minas]

thanks for the responses. I will defenatly try to pay more attention to my breathing and make sure I tell my training partner to relax a bit when I feel things are getting too difficult for me.

And I defenatly want to overcome my fear. The most frustrating part for me is that 3 years ago when I did kyokushin, kumite wasn't an issue for me at all. Meanwhile things have happened and now it is an issue, that's a hard pill to swallow. But I hope that in time I'll be able again to enjoy kumite .

[powerof0ne]

The last thing I want anybody to do is to quit because of kumite. However, I'm not judging you because I'm not in your shoes and have not experienced what you have experienced.

Is there anyway you can talk to your sensei or sempai about this? I ask because I think if you eased into kumite step by step it could work for you. Think of it like if you broke your ankle, pelvis, etc. and had to physically rehabilitate yourself back to be physically functional. I don't think the two are so different.

Are some of your fellow dojo mates friends with you outside the dojo? I know trust is a big issue but I think the first step is going to be taking the chance of trusting somebody at your dojo with your issue to eventually overcome kumite so you begin to enjoy it.

Most good instructors I know will go out of their way to help a student develop so you maybe surprised in the support you get.

With all respect.

[Minas]

Originally Posted by powerof0ne

Is there anyway you can talk to your sensei or sempai about this? I ask because I think if you eased into kumite step by step it could work for you. Think of it like if you broke your ankle, pelvis, etc. and had to physically rehabilitate yourself back to be physically functional. I don't think the two are so different.

Most good instructors I know will go out of their way to help a student develop so you maybe surprised in the support you get.

With all respect.

Osu! Quiting ain't an option for me, also I try not to get too afraid for kumite, when I know we are going to do kumite I try to start kumite without fear.

One other woman at the dojo knows about my story, she has had something similar in the past, but she barely comes to train so I can't really ask her about her experiences in how she has overcome fear if she had any.

And also one of my senseis knows a little bit about this, he knows kumite is difficult for me and that I had some traumatising experiences in the past, but that's it. When I get the chance I'll explain him that I really want to work on this and see how he can help me, if he wants to.

[Thunar]

Hi Minas, you know what it takes A LOT of courage to get in a forum made of fighters and admit that you actually have fearto fight sometimes. It's a great step to admit the "problem", and to overcome it you have to go litle by litle, fighting first with very light contact or no contact at all, and step by step overcome your fear, karate is more about overcoming you limits than breaking someone's else nose. Please don't quit karate, endure it, fight your way to overcome this fear.
I know about your trauma from te past, and it's great to see you getting your life back and overcomming those bad experiences from the past.

Osu!!! i'm your fan!

[Hangtime]

Originally Posted by powerof0ne

I ask because I think if you eased into kumite step by step it could work for you. Think of it like if you broke your ankle, pelvis, etc. and had to physically rehabilitate yourself back to be physically functional. I don't think the two are so different.

I couldn't agree more. I'll try to give you a "for instance" without overstepping my bounds...

About a year ago, I came into class early. A lady was there with 2 small kids (one of which was cute as a button); she approached me and said "You're in the karate class, right?". I was a little shocked, as I'd never met this woman before and said affirmed her inquiry. She then told me that she'd seen a video of me on our website and it freaked her out. She then told me that she and her kids were new students. We exchanged names and spoke a little more. She then said "...yea, that stuff you do on the website, I'm not doing that...ever." --and she was serious.

As is the case with most students, I got to know her a little more. I noticed that the first couple of sparring classes, she and her children opted out. I also learned a little more about her as a person, which isn't so typical (at least not at her rank). I put two and two together and realized her fear was a result of life experiences. I also knew that there was no way this lady would last if she refused to spar.

Part of it was her shear determination (on her part) and part of it was the knowledge and understanding of circumstances (on the senior instructors part), but this lady would soon dip her feet into the pool of sparring. We worked on getting her comfortable first; then she took it upon herself to stand in the face of her discomfort and hit it head on...almost like a linebacker stopping a running back in the hole (that's an American Football reference...).

Today, I watched this same lady fight a match against someone who had the intent to hurt her, and I'll say she did very well. That's a HUGE step; in one year she went from being completely opposed to trying to not only sparring/fighting, but doing it competitively...which is the exact opposite of what she said she'd do.


The point I'm trying to make here, Minas, is if you're in situations where you're not comfortable, find someone you trust and begin to take babysteps. If you're comfortable with the senior men but not younger girls, seek out a younger girl. Start slow; find out exactly what it is about the situation that triggers your reaction and slowly begin to test that boundary. I used to be afraid of fighting bigger guys and people I thought could hurt me. It was a legitimate fear. I began to test those boundaries; I sought out those bigger guys, I sought out the people who could seriously hurt me. I sought out the people who could help me improve against those people. Everyone has to crawl before they can walk, and even once you walk, you'll start with babysteps.

...and besides, no matter what Minas, they can't eat you

(sorry for the long winded response, but I really hope something in the anecdote helps)
OSU!

[Minas]

Thanks XC for the anecdote, it's an inspiring one

Osu!

[Dent]

Osu!

Originally Posted by Nix

Overcome your fear
or
quit

Fighting is not comfortable.

(Bah humbug, Nix! )

Fear is natural, normal and healthy. Revel in it, because it means you're alive!

Now, for Kumite, you need to realize that what you are experiencing is mostly biology. Those adrenals are yours, and they are there to help you. You just need to learn how. This is where good Sensei and Sempai are invaluable. Trying to do so on an online forum (Even the best Forum in the world. ) is very tough, because your triggers and responses need hands on feedback.

What you need to know today is just this. When you think of fear negatively, it produces a negative response. When you see fear as your friend, it becomes one of the best friends you have.

Osu!

[knuckleheader]

Originally Posted by Nix

Overcome your fear
or
quit

I had a friend in another dojo with a similar problem. Some times, she would just break down in tears - not because anyone wanted to destroy her; I just think she felt uncomfortable. It was sad, but the right decision for her, was to quit.

Minas, I omly red to nix's post quoted above. I think I understand what you are experiencing.

This karate that you now practice, is an excellant way to confront a fear in your life AND overcome it! You train in a controlled enviorment. I know if you continue to push yourself, developing strength, toughness and endurance.
You willl beat the other girls. They will not enjoy fighting you.
It's a saying older than dirt, fighting is "99% mental".
Progress in karate is not an instant result. It does take YEARS too change yourself and really become a new person.

Listen to the post here that give POSITIVE motivation. Don't worry about tears during or after practice. Use meditation more in your training. Visualize
becoming stronger and determined.

This determination and continued karate practice will help you overcome all the obstacles you face in life.

After all. That is the essance of ALL Martial Arts training.

Be determined! I hope to see you continue.

[Minas]

Osu!

I know that this forum won't solve my thing regarding to fear, but it's interesting to hear your opinions. I'm determined and some things I read here are motivating to me

thanks!

[FredInChina]

In his book "watch my back", Geoff Thompson talks a lot about fear...
It never goes away, you just learn to operate with it & as Dent suggested, if you are good, you will make it fight on your side.
Osu!

[FedericoPlinski]

Osu!

I hope you don't mind if I post in a 5 months old thread, but this topic is very related to Kyokushin Karate IMO.

In my own experience with fear and kumite, this is what happened to me:
I was training muaythai only, and there was no combat in those classes, and when my sensei allowed me to start learning Kyokushin, the very first classes I had were similar to the thai ones, basics, techniques and combos, practising with partner in turns.

Two weeks later, training for an upcoming competition, our sensei prepared a special kumite class in which we all had to spar with any level partners, and when I had to fight against one of the black belts (one that is particulary tough), I started like I used to with my fellow white belts. My lack of experience made me get my guard down, and I received a chudan mawashi geri directly in my ribs. My air was gone, I couldn't breathe, and I had to concentrate hard not to cry. The fight stopped and I was given time to breathe and recover.
30 min. later I fought against the same black belt, and he was hitting me hard. I tried to convince my body that I could take it, and I was trying really hard not to back up. While receiving tons of punches in my torso and abs, I found myself crying in pain, but continue fighting. Sensei stopped the fight and took me out of the tatami, and asked me what had happened. I could have said "this is too much", "I can't take it", "I don't like karate", or any other thing I can imagine in order to get out of the Dojo as soon as posible. After all, I still had my thai classes... But I just couldn't. I told him nothing happened, and I wanted to keep training with the others. Then my Senpai approached and made me train with him for the rest of the class, which was excellent for me since he made me convert my frustration and anger into punches and kicks, and encouraged me to keep going. I remember I was angry, crying and shouting kiakis and fighting with him, like I was possesed or something.

What I'm trying to say here is, I believe Kyokushin is all about what's going on in your head and how you can handle fear and pain in order to keep going. Yesterday for example I was sparring with a friend of mine who is strong and heavier than me, and he was attacking me straight forward all the way. He was hurting me and I knew it, but instead of stopping or backing up, I found a way to get out of his constant punches doing sabaki (thanks to my Senpai again!).

The point I'm trying to make here is, while I don't know what you have experienced in your like that makes you fear kumite, you have to push your body and your mind to the limit. Let your spirit guide you, and You'll overcome your fear eventually.

By the way, I'd like to know how this subject went for you since the last post of the thread!

OSU!

[Minas]

Things are getting better. It depends a lot on how I feel mentally, there are times that in general I am more sensitive and at those times I skip kumite. At the moments that I feel good I do kumite. The senseis also still don't know the reason why I have these issues but they respect it that sometimes I don't do kumite or I stop after a round or a few rounds, during kumite I try to get in the uncomfortable zone but not overdo it, I don't want to get another anxiety attack. I do start to notice that now I can cope with more then I used to. I think that now things are getting better because I am getting a bit more experience, but also mentally I am still in a process of working on the trauma I've got. With time I get more new insights and I get to know myself better which has as a result that I can let go of things which are causing the fear and control issues I've got. I'm not there yet but I'm going in the right direction .

Also I don't fear kumite, that's never been the issue. The issue is that when I feel like I'm losing control about what happens to my body, everything blocks. It hasn't got anything to do with pain.

There's no courage without fear Minas.

Being fearless is dangerous as you start taking risks. Accepting it and pressing on despite fear is the way to go.

It will come! Until then be glad you're brave enough to keep trying.

Gary